I was just watching the news one day in September when a promo for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire came on. They were coming to town for a contestant search. I instantly wrote down the info and started calling my friends to see who wanted to try out with me. To no suprise, no one wanted to try out and all said You Go Scot. The tryouts were being held right next door to the Board of Realtors at a Honda Dealership. I knew they wouldn’t be letting everyone park at the Boards lot, but I knew I could park there. Minutes before the tryouts began at 10:00am. I pulled into the Boards lot and just like I expected a security guard was keeping me out. I flashed him my card and I was able to pull in. The line was hundreds of feet long. I joined the line and prepaired for a long wait. I cann’t stand in a line of people without talking, so I started chatting with the people in front of me. The group in front of me were a couple of couples. Each had multiple tatoos and were dresses like they were heading to a biker ralley. They ended up being realy cool and we all talked for over an hour as the line occationally moved forward. I had learned all I could and wanted to know about the people in front when I turned around and introduced myself to the people behind me. They were a group of Three. The first guy was black and a new Las Vegas resident of less than a week from New York. We laughed that if he got picked he would have to go back to New York for the show. That was the catch of the try outs. If they picked you, you had to pay your own way to the show in New York. The second guy was an older white guy who worked at a hotel. The third person was a black woman who said she sold yellowbook ads. I told her that was cool. I also invited her to join me for breakfast on Thursday for networking. That’s when she turned. She said she didn’t need to join any laim networking group for business. She followed up by saying if I was so successfull in my networking what was I doing trying out for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I replied back with, “If your so good at selling adds and you don’t need any more business, What are you doing here trying out for the show? That’s when her black friend stepped in between us and said ding ding while simulating a bell being rang to end a boxing match. I said, I’m done waisting my breath on her anyway followed with, I’ll just turn around and you can check out my vish ass. With that I turned around and never looked back again. The people in front were much cooler anyway. The line kept moving like 30 feet at a time and we finally made it to the front. We were all given an application and pens to complete while the group in front of us were taking the test. The group ahead finally left the testing area and we replaced them. The contestant co-ordinater told us we were all going to take a test and those who passed would be asked to stay a bit longer and the rest will be asked to leave. The test was about 20 questions. I knew I got like 15 right, but I had no idea on the rest. Time was called and the test scored. They started calling names and never said mine, or anyone in the group in front of me or the bitches group behind me. We were all asked to leave. I was not even sad. I was happy the experience was over. I didn’t want to have to pay my own way to New York for a gameshow anyway. I think I’ll wait for a show to come here.
I was working on my computer and watching TV when Pat and Vanna appeared. They were inviting me to join them next Tuesday to try out for Wheel of Fortune. I love my digital video box because I rewinded the commercial and wrote down the info. I had a feeling I was gonna win. As I always do when I hear of a local Gameshow Tryout, I told all my friends and asked if they wanted to join me. As usual, no one wanted to try. I take that back, Gail from my network said she would be there. Tuesday arrived, it was a great day. No wind and it was about 70 degrees. The tryouts were literally across town and I arrived minutes before Noon, when the tryouts began. I filled out the application and placed it in the box just as they took the applications away and dumped them into the drum. That’s when i felt a tap on my shoulder, turned around and saw Gail. She asked when I got there and I told her minutes ago. That’s when the show began. The traveling Pat came out and introduced the traveling Vanna, he said they were going to call names from the drum in groups of 5 and those players would get to come up to the stage for a quick interview and to play a speed round. Traveling Vanna reached into the drum and handed the traveling Pat the applications. Traveling Pat called the names and cheers were heard as the contestants made there way to the stage. In turn, he would ask them basically the same questions. What do you do? What do you do for fun? The lucky people then did their best to impress the traveling producers. After all five were interviewed Traveling Vanna would revile a puzzle and the players began calling letters until someone was able to solve the puzzle. Once the puzzle was solved the players were all give some Wheel Of Fortune crap Traveling Vanna would hand Traveling Pat five more names. Meanwhile I spotted the channel 3 weatherman John Fredericks walking through the crowd. I turned to Gail and said lets follow him and stand behind him. She agreed and we started to follow John. Just as we got right behind him he started talking into him mic. I knew we were on the noon news live. While John was reporting the contestant on stage started to sing “It’s raining men”. The crowd was clapping and I was waving my arms to the music. I was so happy I decided to tape the news before I left. When John was done with his 2 minutes of sunny day weather reporting Gail and I went back to watching the goofy people up on stage. This went on until 1:00pm when Traveling Pat said the first round was over. He said if they didn’t call your name don’t worry, he said all applications were going to be reviewed and the producers would be calling and emailing people they wanted to see in the final contestant search. He then said the 1:30 session would begin soon and to get a yellow application in the box to play. Gail and I placed our yellow applications in the box and went to the food area and grabbed a water and a couple of cookies. At 1:30pm Traveling pat reappeared and duplicated the noon show. He really did duplicate it, he didn’t call Gail or I again. When 2:30pm arrived Traveling Pat said get a blue application to play in the 3:00pm session. We did with the same results from noon and 1:30, neither Gail or I were picked. Traveling Pat ended the show around 4pm and repeated to us that just because we didn’t get called up, doest mean we wont get to be on the show. He said the producers were going to review all applications and send emails and or call everyone they wanted to see for the final contestant search. I just knew I would get a call! Almost 3 weeks past before I opened my email and found a invite to the finals. I knew I would get a call back. I wrote down on the applications that I was an Internet Marketer and I once worked as a 19 year old web cam girl. I know once they get to meet me in person they will pick me to play. Someday soon Pat Sajak will say: So Scot, it says here you once worked as a 19 year old web cam girl!” I was right, just a few days later I received a letter inviting me to the official Wheel Tryouts. Gail did not get a letter.
It was finally here! Today’s the day for the Wheel of Fortune contestant try outs. It’s all I could think about all day I didn’t need to be there until 3:15pm but I couldn’t wait anymore. It was 2:05pm when I jumped into my Geno mobile, fresh from the body shop last night. Destination, Las Vegas Hilton Convention Center. Traffic was none and I was handing the valet my keys by quarter past. I sat at a penny machine and waisted probably 30 minutes befor heading to the convention center. As I turned the corner there were far fewer people than I expected to see. There were less than 20. I nodded hello to a few other early birds and watch he croud arrive behind me. There must have been 100 people there. It didn’t matter to me how many others there were. I knew I was going to get picked. As I was checking out the competition a woman approached me and asked if this was the Wheel of Fortune tryouts and I answered yes. I said I’m Scot, and I’m gonna be the biggest winner in Las Vegas and she chuckled and said her name was Doris. We chatted and were joined by many more conestant wanna be’s. Like clockwork the door opened and the game was on. We were let in and as we sat down a lady was writting our name down. We were instructed to fill out the application we found on our seats and to then enjoy the Wheel of Fortune highlights and bloopers that they started playing. In my best print I answered each question. I knew the application needed to stand out. I made mention of my time as Natalie and that I just lost 100 pounds for the third time. I also had something to write when asked if I ever appeared on a game or reality tv show before. Once the show tape finished we were welcomed by Gary. He looked to be the senior of the contestant seekers and clued us in on what we were in for. He said they were looking for fun people and I knew he was talking to me. Once he was finished contestant names began to be called. As called, the contestants would jump up when called and guess a letter. If they got one they could buy a vowel, spin again or solve the puzzle. I sat patiently waiting for them to call my name. Finally Scot Savage was called. I was first to pick a letter on a new puzzle and there were tons of letters to choose from. I called S and got a buzzer, no S. I let out a Homer Simpson DOOOOUUUU and sat down. I couldn’t believe no S. Doris who sat next to me patted me on my leg and said that sucked. After all got to stand up and pick a letter they gave all the losers another shot. Everyone who called just one letter and got a buzzer got to go again. I just knew I wasn’t done. My name was called again and I said Come On Big Money as the wheel stopped on $1,500.00 I called W and then solved the puzzle, Rowin and Martin’s Laugh-In. The crowd cheered and Gary gave me a hat and a wink. Once all the first round losers had a second chance they passed out the test. The test were 20 puzzles and we had 5 minutes to answer all we could. There were pink and yellow test. Every other person was given a different color test. I was holding a yellow test when the five minute timer started. The second we were told go I flipped the page over and immedialy knew the first puzzle. I thought it was going to be a breeze. Boy was I wrong. That was the only one of the 20 that just came to me. When the time expired they said pencils down and I had completed only 4 puzzles of the 20. I still felt I would play on because of what I had written on my application. Doris who had the pink test said she got 18 out of 20 and was even more sure now that she would be a star. They told us we were free to go to the bathrooms, take a smoke break or just streach our legs while they score the test. Gary said they were going to play the 3000th show of Wheel while they review the test. I went to pee and then lit up a cigar. I was joined by a big black dude who was dragging on his cigarette. He asked me how I thought I did and I told him I failed the test but they will keep me anyway. He looked like I just spoke french. He answered back and said Good, because he thought he did bad too. The masses started to head back and so did the butt brothers. (butt brothers being me and the big black dude who I was smoking with.)Once the tape they were running of the 3000th show ended the producers returned with a small stack of papers. Gary spoke and thanked everyone for coming and said for most the journey will end now. He said names would be called and those people should stay and the rest were excused. Now was the moment of truth. Could a tard get 4 out of 20 puzzles right and make it to the next round? Names were called and the small stack got down to two before the lady said my name. Doris almost got mad when they said that’s all folks. She said she completed 18 puzzles and I told her I only completed 4. The losers exited the room and the winers stayed. I turned to my left and saw my fellow butt brother Alex also made it. The next step was pretending to spin the big wheel and calling out letters. We were called up in groups of four. I was called first in the fourth group and took my place in front of the producers. The spinning and letter calling started with me. It was a big puzzle and I guessed three letters and bought two vowels before they made me hit a lose a turn so another player could have a turn. Once the puzzle was solved by player 4 they asked me to start the talk about me section. I told them my name was Scot Savage, I was 40 years old and been in Las Vegas for 36 years, I was a Internet marketer and web site developer. I said my most interesting web job was once I worked as a 19 year old web cam girl. That’s when the other contestants bursted into laughter and so did one of the four producers. I followed up with my name was Naughty Natalie and I was a pretty girl. I continued with I enjoy playing pinball, watching reality and game shows and that I just lost my third 100 pounds and hopefully this time it will stay off. I forgot to mention my tye dye story, but it seemed to go very well. Once all of us had a chance to play and give our self speal Gary told us that we all did great. He said that many of you will get calls the week of January 3rd for the Las Vegas shows and some will get letters inviting them to Los Angeles to be a contestant there. He finished with the basic, DON’T CALL US, WE’LL CALL YOU. I stood like all the others and one of the producers called my name. I said yes and headed to the table as she asked me if I had ever tryed out for wheel before and I told her I visited the Wheel Mobile like 10 years ago. She said that’s not it and I looked familiar. I told her it was probably becuase she has seen me on TV before. She nodded her head yes and said thanks for comming Scot you were great. I turn and headed out when a couple other contestants asked what show I was on before. I told them I was on The Weakest Link and suddenly they all remembered me on the show like it was yesterday. People it’s almost four years ago, damn, let it go. I continued to chat with my new fans all the way to the valet parker. Everyone seemed to agree that I should be expecting a phone call. I already know I’m going to get the call and kick some ass, stay tuned.
Well I had spent the last 3 weeks telling everyone I was going to be on The Wheel Of Fortune. I just knew I was going to be selected. I never let up and everyday I was getting calls wondering if I got the call. On January 14th, almost 30 days since the final tryouts. I was visiting with a friend on the phone. She had just finished asking if I got the call when I remembered the lead contestant guy said they might be sending letters to invite us to come to LA and play there. Kassie said well maybe you will get a letter and she had to run. I heard the mailman at my door dropping off the mail as I said goodbye to Kassie. I opened my mailbox and there was a letter from Wheel Of Fortune.
My hand was almost shaking as I pulled this letter from the envelope. It read:
CONGRATULATIONS! You have been selected as a contestant for WHEEL OF FORTUNE.
You have 18 months to make an appearance on our program. As soon as we have a tape date for you, we will contact you with the details. Please do not call the Wheel Of Fortune production office regarding a tape date. However, if you move or change your phone number, please contact us.
Please be aware that your selection does not guarantee an appearance on the show.
Enclosed is a tip sheet which you should keep until your appearance on the show.
We look forward to seeing you in the future.
Best Regards,
WHEEL OF FORTUNE’S CONTESTANT DEPARTMENT
I made it! They wanted me afterall! I might have to wait up to 18 months? What kind of bullshit is that? I can’t believe they didnt pick me for the Vegas Weeks. I’m Vinney Vegas, I could have sworn they would want me for the shows here. I guess I will have to now predict they are saving me for a Los Angeles show retro week special. I bet I get to wear my tye dye and I will win like $70k.
Something has been bothering me since I got the letter. Will I get to wear tye dye on the show? So today since I had a spare minute to catch the story up, I also wrote a letter to the Wheel People and just faxed it. It read:
January 25, 2005
Dear Wheel Of Fortune Contestant Department;
Thank You -Thank You -Thank You! Last week when I realized you probably weren’t going to call me for the Las Vegas shows I was very sad. I was actually talking to a friend who had called me to see if I got your call yet when I remembered you said you could be sending us letters too. We laughed that maybe I would get a letter. When I hung up with her I went to the mailbox and wa-wham, there was your letter! I just knew I was going to be selected since the moment I heard the Wheel Mobile was coming to town back in November. When I didn’t hear from you I thought my radar might be faulty! Thanks for confirming my winning feelings and inviting me to LA to play. I will be happy to travel anytime you want me to play.
I just have one question. Can I wear my tye dye t shirt? I only see male contestants wearing suits and the ladies are allowed to dress casual. You see, I haven’t worn anything but tye dye shirts since 1994. It was back then when I bumped into my last “Big Guy” wearing the same “Big Guy” shirt I was wearing bought at the same Big Guys Store. It was then I decided to be unique and become The Tye Dye Guy. I will never bump into another big guy with the same shirt again! I make all my own clothes (tye dye’s) and own a very busy custom order internet tye dye store. I would appear in clothes other than Tye Dye if you require, but I would really appreciate the chance to play the game NOT IN A MONKEY SUIT. My shirts are a part of me and I hope you will allow me to be myself on your show.
Thanks again for the letter. I will wait patiently and not bother you again until you contact me with a tape date.
So that’s the latest on my Wheel Win! Stay tuned for more
I have been recording Wheel Of Fortune everyday since AI heard the Wheel Mobile was coming to town. It’s now April 1st and I have not recieved the next letter from the show. I hope it’s soon! We anyway, today was a bight sunny day. I started Todays Wheel and the first contestant was my BUTT BROTHER from the try outs in December! I was so excited when I saw him and had to write this story as I was watching his show. The show started off with a bang for Alex when he solved the first $1,000 toss up question “CATCH A WAVE”. Pat interviewed him as Alexander Walker Junior from Las Vegas, a nightclub bouncer! I didn’t remember him as a bouncer, but with his body he could bounce very well. The $2,000 toss up, “FROZEN PEAS” was solved by the second “yellow” player who ran the next puzzle, “THE FOOT OF THE VOLCANO” and she only won #1,400.00. With the toss up, she was now in the lead with $3,400.00 in cash winnings. Third round started with the third player, the blue player, “Mary” she called a couple letters and then a V and there were no V’s so the next player spun the big wheel, my buddy Alex! He spun the wheel once, landed on $600 and called an “N”, Pat said 4 “N’s” and Alex scored $2,400 for his spin. Then Alex did the unthinkable. With 11 empty white spaces on the board Alex said “I want to solve the puzzle Pat”, Pat seamed suprised and Alex said “Captain Hook Line And Sinker” and he solved the puzzle. Why didn’t he spin and win more? Alex, you looked like a gambler! Alex started the next round, spun the wheel and got a lose a turn. Player 2 starts spining and calling letters on a huge puzzle. The puzzle clue was “Next Line” and she racked up $12,850 before she asked Pat if she could solve the puzzle. Like Pats gonna say no. She Speaks, “WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE” Pat says right and then asked if she knows the next line for $3,000 and she say’s That’s Amore” and is now the shows leader with over $19,000 in winnings. Well after some commercials the show returned with a $3,000 toss up puzzle, “THING” was the category and Player #5 chimes in with “CORAL NECKLACE” and wins and starts the 4th round. “Rhyme Time” is the clue and she starts off 5 T’s and then 6 H’s Then a W, she then solves the puzzle, “THE HOST WITH THE MOST” and suddenly she won $19,550 and was in the lead! Round 5, clue, “person” Alex starts, and hits a BANKRUPT. Player 2 then spins and calls an R, Pat says 2 r’s and then she buys an A, then spins and misses when she asks for an M. Player 3 spins and asked Pat for a G and he says no. Back to Alex! Yeah I cheered, come on Alex! He spins $300, calls an L gets 1, buys an E then spins again only to Bankrupt again. Well the ding ding sound is heard and it’s time for Pat to spin the wheel for the FINAL SPIN. Pat spins and the wheel stops on $500, player 2 asks for a T, Pat says 3 t’s and she solves the puzzle, “A TRIPLE THREAT”. That win made player 2 the big hairy weiner with $25,300. Pat congratulates the winner then turn to Alex the Bouncer and says, “If your gonna bounce anyone you should bounce that wheel” Alex laughed and clapped like a good contestant then Pat went to player #3 and told her second play isnt bad when second place is $19,550 and she agreed. Kyleigh was going to the bonus round after words from Pats sponsors. They return and she spins the bonus wheel, it stops on the secnd 0 of the $100,000 and Pat said the puzzles clue was “On The Map” R S T L N E reviels a T and a N, she calls a C M P and A. VANNA turns a couple of A’s and she says, TAIWAN and wins $25,000 for a grand total of $50,300 ALL CASH! I wish Alex would have won!
Another WHEEL OF FORTUNE story! Yeah! I was watching Wheel of Fortune on Tuesday April 19th, 2005. It was around 11am and it was a cool stormey spring day when I decided to watch last nights Wheel. I was so excited when I saw SCOTT who sat next to me in the try outs. The show started off with a bang for Scott, he solved the first $1,000 toss up question “JUPITER AND SATURN” Then Pat Introduced him as Scott Wright from Las Vegas, a airforce reservist! I didn’t remember him as a airforce dude. Scott was standing in the second possition, the yellow space. The $2,000 toss up, “PAID IN FULL” was solved by the first player, the red possition. The puzzle was Before and After, and ended up being “PARTLY SUNNY DISPOSITION” and the red player won $13,400 solving the puzzle. Scott starts the next round, the puzzle is occupation, he spins, calls a T, gets one, spins again, calls a S and Pat says no S’s, Damn S’s! Player One ends up getting the wheel again and solves for $7,550, “EMERGENCY MEDICAL TECHNICIAN” Player One now has $20,950 as Pat takes up to break.
The show returns and the next round is “ON THE MENU” and Pat adds it’s also a Prize Puzzle! Player 3, the blue girl starts the round. She runs the board, solves the puzzle AND FUCKS UP! Then player one fucks up and Scott gets to spin! He spins a couple times and solves! “GRILLED CHICKEN SKEWERS WITH PEANUT SAUSE” Scott wins $2,300 cash, but remember, it’s a prize puzzle. Pat tells Scott he’s going to Tialand! With the trip and spending money the round was worth $8,300. Now with $9,300 and in second place, it’s off to commercial break again!
$3,000 Toss up puzzle starts us off, Scott rings in and solves “INSTANT COFFEE” and gets to start the next round, Title is the puzzle. Scott begins, calls a T, then an H then buys the E but is told no when he calls for an F. Then the bell rings and Pat spins for the final spin. Just missing $5,000 each letter was only worth $1,300. Scott solves the puzzle and wins $3,350 more, all together $15,650! Not enough to go to the bonus round, but a very nice second place amount! Way to go SCOTT.
Months and months go by and suddenly, when I nearly forgot about the show a letter arrived. It gave me directions for wardrobe and told me when and where to report. I was sad to hear I would not be able to wear a tye dye shirt on the show, so I took one of my favorite shirts to a taylor who made it into a tie. Tom asked to ride with me and watch and I thought it would be fun to have him, so I agreed to take him me for the show.
We arrived in Los Angeles the day before and did a drive by to the studio before the sunset so we would know where to go the next morning. I was to report by 8am. That night Tom and I slept in my favorite Motel 6 in Hollywood, well, Tom slept, I was to pumped to sleep. Eventually I did nod off just in time for the 6am wake up call. I jumped in the shower, gave my face a fresh shave and while I was dresing and getting high, Tom got ready and took a skanky dump.
We were in the car in pleanty of time and sparked a joint as soon as we left the motel, but we didn’t account for the time that the morning clusterfuck on the roads would take. I litterally arrived at 7;55am and by the time I parked and went to where I was to report, the group was gone. There was a contestant co-ordinator who saw me enter the garage and was waiting for me there, she said good morning tye dye guy and said come with me.
I spent the next couple of hours in rehersal, make up and listening to the rules. Finally it was announced who was going to play when and which place they would be in. I was put up against a young black girl who I learned was a recent graduate. My second contender was a smart ass looking mortgage douchebag from Detroit. I knew I was going to kick thier asses, but we were the Friday show, so we would have a long wait until we played, and my weed was wearing off.
After taping three shows we were all taken to the Sony Studios cafe and were able to order whatever we wanted for lunch. After lunch I stepped outside to smoke on my cigar. While outside I was able to also spark up the joint I had stashed in my pants, so I was stoned again and was able to enjoy the fourth show. It’s now about 3pm, the fourth show ends and the three contestants for Friday step back into the makeup room for touch up. It was hear when I was told that Pat will not into me the way they had written and I needed something else. Pat didn’t want to say Scot Savage a web cam girl from Las Vegas. I laughed that they even had considered that. We went with the old stand-by, internet guy instead.
IF THIS WAS REAL BOOK, I WOULD GO INTO THE SHOW, BUT SINCE THIS IN THE INTERNET, CLICK THE NEXT LINK AND WATCH THE MAGIC HAPPEN.
One day while leaving the laundry mat with a whole bunch of tye dye orders cleaned and ready to be mailed. I heard the person on the radio say come on down, my favorite words, to the Officemax that was just around the corner for free CD’s and concert tickets. I thought, what the hell, I went. I got out of my jeep and approached the DJ. She recognized me from The Weakest Link and gave me a few CD’s and a card to fill out for a drawing. I didn’t even know what the drawing was for. When I handed the ticket back to the DJ, she tore off a side and handed it back to me. I put that piece in my glove box and headed home.
A couple of weeks later I was woken from an afternoon nap by a phone call. It was a past client who said his wife just called him because the radio station called my name and said I had 10 minutes to call back. I didn’t quite understand what he was saying cause he woke me up and was talking really fast. I asked him to repeat and he did. I asked him which station. He said he didn’t know. He said he would call his wife and then call me back. I hung up and stared into the ceiling from my bed trying to imagine how any radio station would get my name for a contest. That’s when I remembered the card in the glove box. I went out to the Jeep, found the card and saw that there was a request line telephone number. I went back inside to call, as I did the phone rang again. It was my friend reporting he didn’t know the number to call, but he said the station name, which was right there on the card in front of me. He yelled call and we hung up.
I dialed the number, it rang and a lady answered. I told her I heard my name and she sounded surprised. She said I had one minute left to qualify and congratulations. She said not many people call in when they play this game and I was only her second qualifier in weeks. I asked her what I won and that’s when she said dinner for two. I thought, all this for dinner for 2? I thought I won a cool prize, not dinner at a P.T. Pub. She said I was also qualified for the grand prize and it was a trip to Australia. As soon as she said that to me my body started to tingle. I instantly felt I was going to win. She gave me the details of where to go for the drawing and we hung up.
I told my friends I had that feeling again and I was going to win the trip. One the day of the drawing my friends Andrea, Tom, Toni, the kid named after me and Jessie headed out for the dinner and drawing. I knew I was the winner! We arrived at the bar, I signed up as a qualifier and they gave me a ticket which half was placed in a clear box with about 50 other tickets. My friends were also given tickets, but for another drawing. We went and sat down and ordered dinner.
During dinner they announced that non qualifiers ticket holders were going to drawn soon and 3 would be included in the trip drawing. I already told Tom I would take him with me to Australia. Since he was there when I won on the Price Is Right he was just about certain that if I say I’m gonna win I was going to. They started drawing numbers for shirts and t shirts and other prizes. First ticket they draw is Andrea’s. She won racing tickets, a t shirt and hat and was qualified to win the Australian trip! She was so shocked and happy. Next ticket they draw is Toni’s. She wins movie tickets, a t shirt and shes now in the drawing for the trip. She says she will take me if she wins. Tom says hell you will and I say don’t worry, I’m the winner. Ok, time for the final qualifier! You wont believe it, they call Tom. He won concert tickets and a hat and he was now in the drawing. There’s a packed bar and restaurant and they pull 3 tickets and all 3 winners are sitting around me. People started to think there was something up. There was, my winning karma was creating winners all around me. Tom returned to the table and said if he wins he will take me and I said that’s cool, but I win and I’ll take you.
It was then time to announce the winner. They reached into the box and called Scot Savage! My friends freaked! I jumped up and headed to the podium to claim my prize. I was presented with a mini Foster’s Surfboard and a piece of paper that said I won the Fostralia 2002 trip. The trip was for 2 weeks and was going to be departing in February. The Miller Beer rep said he went on the Fostralia 2001 trip and it was a blast. It was a hot August night when I won and February sounded like years away. We all were so happy after the drawing, but our weed had worn off and it was time to get home. We returned home and started calling everyone, especially the people who didn’t believe I had that winning feeling again. The trip was six months away.
It was early December when Tom finally applied for his Passport. He included extra money for fast delivery. January came and went and Tom’s passport never arrived. We were leaving February 25th so he started calling around February 1st. I won’t go into all the details, but Tom’s Passport didn’t arrive in time and I was to late to substitute another passenger so I had to go alone. The good news is Tom’s passport was due any day and Fosters said they would fly him over and catch him up with the group when it arrived.
I had been chatting on the web for the past month or so looking for weed connects in Australia. Believe it or not I had weed lined up from multiple people in each of the 3 cities I was going. I was set. Pocket full of cash, a bag of clothes and a bag full of new tye dye shirts I planned on giving away alone the trip. I figured I’d need a empty bag for souvenirs and thought it would be cool to spread the tye dye thing in another continent.
I joked with Jessie that I was gonna go to a place with out being recognized as the tye dye guy from The Weakest Link and headed off to the airport. My plane from Vegas to LA was to take off at 7:00pm and the 16 hour flight to Sydney from LA left at 11:59pm. I was still sitting on the plane in Vegas at 9:00pm on a gate hold for LA. We took off for LA around 9:15 and arrived at about 10pm. I still had 2 hours even thou the tickets said arrive at the international terminal 3 hours in advance. I asked while waiting for my bags where the international terminal was and I was told it was a 2 minute walk to the right. My bags finally out at about 10:45. I started walking. The two minute walk took 15 minutes and then once there I had to find where to go. It was now 11:10. I saw a huge line that went through the terminal and out the door and a few other long lines at the ticket window. I knew if I joined any line I would miss the flight. I opened my suitcase with tye dye and pulled out a couple. I then walked to the front of the Quantas line and said to the man, “Please help me”. I told him I was on the 11:59 to Sydney and I had just arrived in LA due to delays. He said your never gonna make it unless I help you. He asked for my passport and tickets. I then followed him with my bags to a new bomb sniffing xray machine and gave him a couple shirts. The bags went in one at a time and the machine vibrated. I thought if anyone ever puts a bomb in that machine it would blow up from the shaking. My bags checked out and we went back to the counter where we started. He took my bags and put them on the conveyor belts and they disappeared. He then had me follow him to the front of the line at security. They took one look at me and said remove your shoes please. It was just a couple weeks after the shoe bomber was caught on another plane and the security was already high due to 9-11. I made it through security and was able to go to the gate. I arrived at the gate at 11:40pm as boarding announcement were already being made. I couldn’t believe I made it. All boarded busses that took us out to the plane. It was a huge Quantas 747. I had no idea where my seat was. I check the boarding pass and saw that I was in like row 70. I stepped on the plane and then walked the entire length to find my seat was in the last row of the plane. There was an empty seat next to me where Tom was suppose to be. I said hello to the couple sitting next to the empty seat. They asked where was my companion was and I said he didn’t make it. That’s about the time all 3 of us realized we were gonna have an empty seat for more space! The plane backed away from the loading ramp and we headed off to OZ at about 12:20am. As soon as we were air born the killer Quantas service began. They started out by giving us all a little package that contained fresh socks, tooth brush and paste, lotion and wet wipes and my favorite item, the black mask to cover your eyes. As soon as everyone was given the package food service began. I was the first one given a meal because I was in the back and they were working back to front. How did they know I was hungry and sorda agravated I had no time to buy snacks in LA. Not to mention my weed had worn off. Just as I began to eat my row neighbors said, “excuse me, weren’t you on the Weakest Link?” I told them yes and we chatted over the meal. His name was Raj and I can’t remember his wife’s name. We were in the air less than an hour and I was fed, exhausted and ready for sleep. I put on my eye covers, popped in some ear plugs I brought, pulled up the blanket, stretched out in Tom’s empty seat and fell asleep.
I woke up to the smell of food. I removed my eye cover and ear plugs and saw the sun was up and plane was alive with people moving about and eating breakfast. I was told good morning my my row mates and I returned the greeting. Raj and his wife were seated with an empty breakfast plate in front of both of them. I asked Raj what time it was and he said 10am Los Angeles Time. I had been asleep nine hours. There was only six hours left in the flight. I asked the first stew I saw for some breakfast and she brought out a tray. I was the first to get dinner and the last to get breakfast. I couldn’t believe I slept so long.
After breakfast I stood up and streached my legs. The back of the plane ended up being a hang out area. Passengers wanting to stretch and walk around would just hang out and chat. Almost everyone that walked by mentioned they were jealous because I had the only extra seat on the plane and asked how that happened. I told them my friend Tom’s story about the passport and how he couldn’t come. Others asked how was I able to sleep so long. I told them because I couldn’t sleep the night before and it was an all day trek to get to the plane. I guess I was just exhausted. I must have met 100 people of the 500 on board before we landed in Sydney. Some were also Fosters winners, some heading on vacation and others were returning home to Australia.
Once we landed in Sydney we were to check in for another flight to Brisbain. First thing I did was head to the toilet. I needed to poop and I had to know if the water went down the opposite way like I heard. The toilets were like turbo toilets and the water didn’t swirl, it was jet flushed out. I’ll have to wait for the next stop to see I thought. I followed the signs in to the gate the ticket said and saw a few of my fellow Fostralians waiting. I checked in for the flight and sat down on a chair. That’s when I hear, “Hey aren’t you the tye dye guy from Vegas who was on the Weakest Link? ” I turned and said yes and chuckled. I couldn’t believe I was eye spied in Australia and I was only here for 15 minutes. The couple ended up to be John and Elaine who were also Fosters winners from Las Vegas. Elaine was a regular looking person and John was a freak! John had Blue hair and piercing, he made me miss my Jessie. I wished my freak would have come with me. John said I must have taken some good drugs to sleep that well on the plane. I told him no and my weed wore off before we boarded in LA. He laughed and we started to chat a bit on finding weed in Australia. I told him I had already lined up some internet friends who were gonna help me out in each city and he was totally impressed. We three hung out until the plane boarded. Guess where my seat was for the next leg? It was the back seat again! There right next to me is Raj and his wife again. We took off and as soon as we did the Quantas staff started serving food. Man this airline was great! Everytime my stomach was talking they were serving food. It wasn’t crap airline food like I had in the past. These were complete meals and was plenty for me. The flight to Brisbain was about 3 hours. John came back to hang out some and we all got to meet more Fostralians and say hi again to the ones we met on the other flight. It was a smooth flight and the time went by fast. When we landed in Brisbain we went through customs and were directed to board the buses outside. For the first time I was able to see just how many of us there were. It looked like a couple hundred people.
My View While In The Gold Coast
I got on the same bus with John and Elaine and a couple others that I got to know on the flights. I was so glad I didn’t have to drive. I couldn’t handle the wrong side of the road crap. The bus ride was about an hour to the Gold Coast, our first stop. When we arrived I heard comments from the Florida winners how this place looked like home, and how they didn’t need to travel 24 hours to see this. I thought the place looked cool as hell. There were lots of tall hotels, a casino down the road, (that I never visited) Surfers Paradise was two blocks away and our hotel was 1 block from the white sandy beach. We were directed to a reception area to check in and were given our room keys and welcome package. My room was on the top floor, just under the round glass restaurant that turned a complete revolution every 30 minutes. My view from the 25th floor was of the beach and Surfers Paradise. I couldn’t have asked for more. The room came stocked with Foster Beer so I popped one open and sat out on the balcony and check out the scene. I desided I needed another beer and looked at the clock on the wall. It was 2pm Tuesday. I thought how weird that was. I left Las Vegas at 7pm Saturday and I get to Australia and it’s 2 pm Tuesday. I had to pee and remembered I wanted to see if the toilets went the wrong way. I flushed and these toilets were turbo like also, no swirl just a swoosh. After the second beer I was sorda drunk and a bit tired. My internet friend wasn’t going to be by until like 9pm with my weed so I laid down and took a nap. My telephone woke me up at 9pm. It was my internet friend calling to tell me his connect was out and he would try again tomorrow. I was so bummed I popped another Foster’s.
I took a shower, got dressed and headed out. I stopped by the bell desk and asked a guy where an American could get some weed in his city. He told me to take a cab to the Hard Rock Cafe, look for a guy in a pedicab and ask him for a stick. I laughed at the code but was happy for the info. I told him I would bring him back a cool tye dye shirt and he smiled. I took a cab to the Surfers Paradise down the street. Man that cab driver drove crazy, he was just like the cabbies in Vegas, but this one drove fast on the wrong side of the road. He dropped me off in front of the Hard Rock Cafe and I couldn’t believe it, there was they guy on the pedicab. I walked up to him and asked him about a stick and he looked at me like I was alien. I went on to say the bellman sent me and I was looking for some weed. The guy said he didn’t know anything about sticks or weed and told me to move on. I was very surprised and really sad I couldn’t score any hooter. I walked around Surfers Paradise, grabbed a bite to eat and went back to the hotel. The bellman who sent me away was there at the door when I arrived back. He asked if everything went well and I said no. I told him what happened and he told me that the pedicab guys were busted a couple of weeks back and they are being very cautious. I’m a 300 pound American guy wearing a tye dye t shirt, did the pedicab guy think I was a cop? Anyway, I went up to my room and grabbed a couple of shirts for the bellguys and returned downstairs to deliver them. The guys were very happy with the gifts and the guy that tried to help me out before took me aside and said he would call a friend and see if he could get some delivered for me. I gave him my room number and went upstairs to chill and to wait for his call. I turned on the TV and the Australian version of Weakest Link was on. I thought I can’t escape this show. I didn’t turn the channel, I watched the rest of the show. Anne was a bitch, but the Australian host was an ugly bitch. My phone rang and it was the bellman. he said he was sorry but his friend wasn’t home, so he wasn’t able to help me out. I thanked him for trying and desided to have another Fosters. Minutes later I was asleep for the night.
I woke up to a beautiful sunrise. Made a cup of coffee and in my boxers headed out to the balcony. I was there just a few minutes when a guy from the next room peeked around the corner and said good morning neighbor. I was a bit surprised but the guy was friendly. He said he saw me on the flights and thought my shirts were cool. I thanked him, told him I would be right back and went to put on a shirt and shorts. I went back out dressed with a shirt for him and he was delighted. He showed his roommate who also peeked around the corner and said good morning. I gave him a shirt too and he put it on right away. About that time I hear Raj from the plane saying “good morning Scot” in his voice that sounds like most middle east 7-11 employees. I turned around and on the other side of my balcony was Raj peeking around. Raj was wearing the tye dye shirt I gave him on the plane. It looked like a dead head convention! I introduced Greg and Tony from the left to Raj and his wife to the right. Raj said Fosters must have checked us in all alphabetically. All the winners last names must have determined where the plane seats assigned were and hotel rooms. I told them I was very happy so far with all my accommodations and they all agreed. We desided to all go up for our complementary breakfast in the turning restaurant. During breakfast we were discussing the days planned activities. Fosters had arranged for us to be taken to Dreamworld and for go cart racing. Dreamworld was advertised as Australia’s Premier Amusement Park. I was told they had a couple of great coasters and I was excited. Tony and Greg said they were passing on the trip and gonna go take a drive instead. I would never pass up coaster so at 9am I was ready for the bus. I went to the lobby where I saw John and Elaine. John said come on Scot and I joined them in line. When I got to the bus door there was a Fosters rep there taking names. I told her mine and she said I couldn’t get on this bus because I’m scheduled at 9am and this was still the 8:45 bus. I was sad and so was John but I said I’d see em at Dreamworld.
Pat and Scot at the Gold Coast
The next bus arrived and this time I was aloud to board. Once full we took off. It was about a 30 minute ride to Dreamworld. The park looked old and tired. It wasn’t anything like I hoped for. The bus let us off at the front gate and we went in. I looked all over for John and Elaine but the place was almost empty, in fact it looked like we were the first ones here. Dreamworld opens their gates at 9am. Dreamworld doesn’t open any rides or shops or refreshment stands until 10am. Have you ever heard of something so dumb? I walked around a bit and found what looked like a descent rollercoaster. There were no attendants and no line so I sat down on some nearby benches. I watched other park visitors arriving and wondering around. This place reminded me of a spooky theme park from a Scooby Doo episode. Finally around 10am some park employees started walking around and began opening the rides. I was about the 10th person to sit down in the rollercoaster and we waited for the attendant to finally start the ride. I sat alone in a seat that had a lap bar that came down between my legs and no seat belt. The ride started and we headed up the first hill. It was a nice drop, but when we got to the bottom the lap bar dropped down and smashed into may ball sacks. The train kept going up and down and right and left and each turn or bump felt like I was gonna loose my balls. I couldn’t enjoy the ride due to the discomfort and was extremely relieved when the ride was over and my balls were released.
I then went to the next coaster. It had just finally opened also and there was a small line. The line moved quick and I was in. This ride had a over the head harness and no lap bar. I thought to myself, “Boys, you’ll be OK on this one.” The ride lasted about 2 minutes and only featured one 360 loop. The girls in the car in front screamed the whole ride. I’ve had scarier rides on the I-15 at rush hour. That was it for coasters so I started walking around looking for something of fun or interest. The only other attraction I wanted to try was closed for repairs. I eventually found the animal area which was cool. I saw a few koala bears and I couldn’t resist yelling to the dingo “you ate my baby”. They had a lot of cool animals that I’ve never seen before, especially the birds. Well I can’t hang out in the zoo all day I thought so I started checking out the park again. Suddenly I was back in the front of the park where we were dropped off. I looked at the big clock on the building and saw that it was 11:00. I was here an hour and had done the park? I desided to leave. I walked out front and exited the gate. Just as I did a bus approached and open the door for me. He said Good Day where You be heading off to mate and I answered “Surfers Paradise” he said he was going there and to get on. I asked how much and he said 4 dollars. I paid the man and took a seat on the empty bus. I spent the next 2 hours returning to Surfers Paradise on this bus. The bus ended up being a city bus and there were a hundred different stops. It was cool thou because I was happy to be out of Dreamworld and I was getting to see all kinds of Australian folks running around doing their thing. It was a very interesting ride. Eventually we were back in Surfers Paradise and I could see my hotel. The bus ended up stopping right in front of the hotel. What perfect timing I thought. a bus appears out of nowhere and takes me to my hotel. I went up to my room to check to see if I had any messages, I didn’t so I changed and headed to the beach.
Half way to the beach I was approached by a couple of guys on mopeds. The handed me a flyer and asked if I wanted to rent a moped. I told them no, but I wanted to buy some weed. They told me to meet them back here in an hour. I headed off to the beach happy with weed on order and I was out of Dreamworld. The day was going great. The water was so clean and warm and the sand was great. I played in the surf and laid on the sand and had a great time. About an hour later the moped guys returned and saw me on the beach. They came down and said their friend was not home yet and they would be back in another hour. I was starting to turn a shade of pink so I headed back to hotel. I took a shower, put on my boxers, popped a Fosters and headed top the balcony. I was there about 2 minutes when my neighbor Tony popped his head around. He asked if I had any luck with weed yet and I told him no. He told me to open my door, he had something for me. I did and in walks Tony wearing my tye dye shirt. He pulls out a big bag of weed. He tells me that he and Greg rented a car and drove to this town like 90 miles away called I think Nibtom. It’s a town about two blocks long and its like weed heaven. All the shops and cafes were all covered in weed paraphernalia and the stuff was sold in the smoke shops. I couldn’t believe my ears. Tony asked me if I had any papers or a pipe and I told him no, but I saw a smoke shop in Surfers Paradise. I told him I’de jump in a cab and be right back. I was so happy, it had been days since I smoked! I was back in 10 minutes with a little pipe and bong. When I arrived back the hotel there was a fire truck parked in front with lights on and a second truck arriving. There had been a fire alarm pulled on the 16th floor and they were making sure the place was OK. The elevators we not working. I thought , SHIT, I finally get some weed now I can’t get back to it. I thought about taking the stairs, but the 25th floor was just to high. I sat in the lobby for about 30 minutes until the all clear was given and we were aloud to board the elevators. I knocked on Tony and Greg door and went in. Tony was wondering what happened to me, they never heard the fire alarm and had no idea what was happening downstairs. I handed Tony his pipe and he loaded my bong and we got so high. We only had about 36 hours left in Surfers Paradise and he had a half ounce so he split it with me and I had a new best friend. I went back to my room for a nap and was woken by John wondering what happened to me today? Ended up they were taken go carting first then were taken to Dreamworld. They had just returned and he was wondering if I had any luck scoring. I told him I did and he and Elaine were in my room in 5 minutes. We partied and desided to get ready for dinner. I invited Tony and Greg to join us and we went to a great seafood place next to the hotel.
After dinner we tuned up again and talked about plans for the evening. Tony and Greg were tired and desided to stay in and I went to Surfers Paradise with John and Elaine. These two were very cool and hanging out with John made me miss Jessie. They spotted a strip club and wanted to go in, I didn’t care to so we walked on. We stopped for a cocktail at a outdoor bar and talked. I told them I was gay and I had a Jessie at home and how John was making me miss my freak. They didn’t react at all other than to say they loved gay people and how happy I looked when I spoke about Jessie. After a bit I was getting sleepy and wanted to re-tune up so I suggested going back to hotel. The kids instead wanted to go back to the strip club so we said our good nights. The next day was scheduled as a “Day or Leisure” which meant, if you wanna do anything go ahead, but your paying. I desided to spend the day at the beach and shopping at Surfers Paradise. I even said hello to the pedicab guy, but I did it in a way where he thought I was a cop. It was a great day of leisure!
The next morning were had to pack to leave for our next destination, Melbourne. John came up from his floor to help me finish off the weed. The flight was like 4 hours and we were all in charge of our own bags. This was the first time I hated being apart of this group. There were 6 busses and luggage was loaded in no order. Did you ever see 200 people climbing over 400 bags? It was a clusterfuck. We ended up being the entire plane so as soon as the last bag was checked we were loaded and took off. For the first time I wasn’t sitting in the back! We landed in Melbourne to rain. It was gloomy and wet. The opposite of where we just left. The city looked very old to me as we drove to the hotel and worst of all, my weed had worn off. I had no fewer than 4 internet friends lined up in Melbourne who all said they could hook me up when I got there. I wasn’t worried about getting some. We checked in to the hotel. I went to my room which was on the 1st floor this time and started calling my internet friends. Two of the phone numbers didn’t work and I left messages on the other two numbers. I saw that this room was stocked with Fosters too so I popped open a bottle and looked out the window. The hotel was next to a river and I was just above the water. Across the river was a modern looking convention center and across from that The Crown Casino. It wasn’t a bad view, just nothing like the last. I laid down for a nap and my phone woke me up. It was one of my internet friends who said he was in the lobby. I told him my room number and he came up. He walked in and said sorry Scot, my friend is on holiday and I could get you any weed. He was a non weed smoker but said he knew friends that did and he would get me some. He visited my web sites and saw my stuff about the Price Is Right and Weakest Link and was looking forward to meeting me. He said he was real sorry. I couldn’t kick his ass but I was disappointed. He asked what my plans were and I told him none, today was a travel day and we were free. He told me about the aquarium across the street so we went. It was a very cool place and I found a great souvenir for my friend Andrea. The souvenir was a ceramic vase with fish painted on. It was very cool. I purchased the vase as we left and returned to the hotel. He left and I went to my room to check for messages. I had one. it was from my other internet buddy. He said he wasn’t able to get me any and was sorry. I said SHIT, 4 connects and no weed.
I headed to see my friends at the bell desk. With shirts in hand I approached them and asked where I might find some weed. As I was asking, Patty walked up. Patty was a fellow Fostralian who was from Phoenix that I gave a tye dye shirt to at the Gold Coast. She knew I was up to something. She asked the same bellman if she could find a little cocaine in the same area and he said yes. I looked at her and she returned the look and we both giggled. She asked if she could join me and I said sure. Pat and Scot were heading off to Chinatown in Melbourne to score drugs! The cab driver dropped us off deep in the heart of their Chinatown. There were herds of kids, I’m taking 14-18 years old, Chinese or Japanese running in and out of these arcades all with cell phones. I had never seen anything like it nor had Patty. We weren’t two feet from the cab when we were approached to buy some smack. I told the kid we didn’t want smack, we wanted weed or coke. He yelled back, “Only Smack” and walked off. Pat and I loitered around the arcades being approached time in again by kids selling smack but no weed or coke, just smack.
I asked Pat what smack was and she said she didn’t know either. I told her it most be popular here and we laughed. We walked around a while before a young lady said “You want smack?” I answered no, we want weed and coke. She said she could help! She asked how much and we told her. She said she would be back in an hour. Patty and I went to a sushi bar and drank sake. I got toasted! We went back at the right time and waited about 30 minutes before she showed up. She said her connects weren’t there (I’m so tired of hearing that) but she brought me a small bag of her own so I would have some and she told me to come back tomorrow at like 2 for the rest. Patty was out of luck, drunk and ready to go back to the hotel anyway. When we got back I called Tony and Greg’s room and left a message Tony would love to hear. A little while later he called and walked next door to my room and we smoked out. Ended up we were neighbors again.
John and Elaine from Las Vegas at the Fosters Grand Prix
We were in Melbourne to go the the Grand Prix. It’s a huge annual event in Melbourne that I never heard of. The next 3 days were race days. Not being a racing fan I was more interested in sleeping in and meeting my china doll at 2pm. I did and she showed up and filled my order. she told me to call her later cause she might be able to help Patty out too. I said thanks and went back to the hotel. I desided to walk across the bridge to the Crown Casino to see what it was all about. It was a lot like any Vegas casino and yet nothing like anything I’ve ever seen. I ended up playing a little bit and walking around a lot. They had a mall, theaters, restaurants and more. It took all afternoon to see. As I left it was raining again. I ducked into the convention center and checked out the car show then called it a night.
The next day I passed on racing events with the group because honestly I just didn’t care. I rode on trolleys and buses and went to the nearest beach. It was the first time the rain had stopped since we arrived. The water was much colder than the Gold Coast and the wind had a chill so I didn’t stay long. It took over an hour each way to the beach and I stayed 30 minutes. I spent the rest of the day just checking out shops and people and partying with a few of my new friends. The day of the big Grand Prix was finally arrived and I decided I had to check it out. It was reported that over a million people would be there. There were trollies that ran from in front of our hotels and took use directly to one of the race track entrances and they were free, but they were so packed I chose to take a cab. Patty and her friend Brenda also exited the hotel about the same time and I told them fuck the trollies, lets take a cab. They thought that was a much better idea. The cab took us the 5 miles and dropped us off at the gate. The gate he dropped us off at just happen to be on the entirely opposite side to where our seats were. Brenda who walked with a limp, Patty and me with my bad knees walked probably a mile in the crowd before we found the Foster’s area. They had us set up! We had a giant tent right behind our grandstand seat. The tent was totally catered! There was salads, roast beef and other great item plus all the Fosters, wine and soda your could drink. There were linen covered tables and a staff to clear the plates and deliver drinks. It was a cool reward after the walk from hell. They even had special restrooms set up for us. The seats for the race were great, we were right on the racetrack. Foster’s knew how to throw a party. The race lasted a few hours and the local guy ended up winning. It was a great day for Melbourne and it was fun to be there for it. We all hung out in the tent and partied as the crowd cleared out. The food and drinks were never shut off. Once the crowd was gone we headed to the trollies. Ends up there was a trolly stop right behind the Fosters Tent. We should have taken the trolly and not the cab. The trolly stopping in front of our hotel. The day was a great one, but I was glad to be back because my weed had seriously worn off.
The next day we were off to Sydney. There was another luggage clusterfuck at the airport. I figured they weren’t gonna leave without me so I let just about everyone get their bags before I even looked for mine. I was one of the last to check in and board. The plane was just for us so when we got loaded we took off. My bags were the first ones off in Sydney and I was off to the busses! All the people who checked in last in Melbourne boarded the bus in Sydney first! The drive to the hotel was very educational. The driver pointed out a few local places we had to visit and mentioned as we drove by Kings Crossing that this was the place to go if your looking for drugs or prostitutes! I made a mental note, “KINGS CROSSING!” We arrived at a cool hotel in the Darling District. The hotel was like 100 years old. It had a few previous lives before becoming a hotel. At one time the hotel was actually a military hospital. The entire place had been remodeled and looked like a classy old hotel. I checked in and called my Sydney weed connections. Just as in the two previous cities, half the numbers didn’t work and the other half had answering machines. I wasn’t gonna wait all day to be told “sorry” again so I headed down stairs and told the cabbie to take me to Kings Crossing.
The cab took me about 5 miles from where we were staying and said as he dropped me off, “have fun”. I got out and couldn’t believe my eyes. It was porn central! There were strip clubs up and down the street on both sides. Each club had a guy or two outside trying to drag guys in. I was told “come in and get your dick sucked” or “you wanna fuck a girl in her ass big guy” in front of each club as I was looking for the weed store. I finally told the guys I was gay just so they would quit trying to drag me into the clubs. I had walked about the entire 3 block area when I spotted an old man with a big beard wearing a tye dye shirt sitting on a wooded box in front of a tattoo parlor. He looked like Jerry Garcia. I knew he could help me. I walked up to him and said, “my friend, you look like the man who would know where an American visitor could find some weed”. He looked at me and said, “just walk around this corner” and pointed to the left. I thanked him and walked about 10 feet and turned the corner. I wasn’t around the corner 5 seconds before a man approached me and asked if I needed some weed. I knew the old man would know! I told the guy yes and we talked for a second. He told me to meet him in the adult book store in 10 minutes. I stepped into the adult store and checked out the various videos and toys for sale and minutes later the guy walked in, coughed and then stepped outside. I followed him out and we completed the transaction. I grabbed a passing cab and was back at the hotel as the final busses were just arriving from the airport. I was gone about 45 minutes total and I was stocked for the rest of the trip. I saw John and Tony in the lobby and told them the eagle SHIT. My weed hadn’t even worn off from Melbourne and we were getting high in my room! Thank you King Crossing!
Our stay in Sydney was very relaxed. Fosters had nothing scheduled for us until the last night we were there. I spent the next couple of days being a real tourist. Sydney reminded me of San Diego. My stoner Foster friends and I took boat rides, monorail rides, checked out museums and the Sydney Aquarium. Our final days went fast and before we knew it it was the last day and it was time for our farewell party. The busses showed up on time and we started to board. This was the most ridiculous part of the trip. We spent a half hour loading the busses and then drove 3 blocks to the pier. We could have walked in half the time. We boarded ferry boats and took a nice ride to the party location. The party was being held at an old shut down amusement park that was at the base of the famous Sydney Bridge. It looked more like a Scooby Doo scary park than Dreamworld did. We were met at the pier by Foster’s Girls who directed us to the party. Foster’s had hired a few real aborigines guys to play didjeridoo’s and to pose for pictures. They got just as drunk and most of the party goers. There was lots of food and of course all the Foster’s you could drink. My party friends and I enjoyed one of our last joints as the fireworks exploded over the Sydney Harbor. It was sad that the vacation was coming to an end. We partied and took one of the last busses back to the hotel.
John Tony and Someone I don't remember at the Goodbye Party
Our plane was departing at about 11am and our pick up was 7:30am. It was about 11pm when we entered the lobby. My friends and I desided we would pull an all niter so we could be tired and sleep most of the way home. Tony came to my room and we sparked up our second to last joint. He and Greg took a haunted tour the day before and he mentioned the Giant Killer Vampire Bats that could be seen at I think Darling Park. He said the park was just about a 10 minute walk away. I said lets go. It was about midnight. We went to his room to get Greg. Greg was already laying in bed. We walked in and Tony said, “Greg, lets go check out the giant killer vampire bats. Greg rose from the sheets like a mummy and said OK. We headed out and instantly it began to feel spooky. As we walked down the street we noticed that there weren’t any other people out. We walked for probably a half hour without seeing a soul. It was like we were the only ones alive. We finally came across an all night coffee shop and we stopped in for a soda. Tony asked the server where the park was because he thought we might be lost. The guy told us to take a left and go down a couple more blocks. We started out again and within minutes we had reached the edge of a huge park. It was completely dark. The walkway through the park was lined with 100 foot trees that blocked out the black sky. We didn’t see or hear any bats. I saw some benches and requested we sit for a minute. Greg sat for about a minute and said he wanted to go over that way to check it out. Tony and I watched him disappear into the blackness. I looked at Tony and said, “We never saw Greg again” and he chuckled. A few minutes later we heard Greg calling for us and we headed into the darkness to find him. Just about the time we spotted Greg we heard a loud woosh sound overhead and looked up to see a giant killer vampire bat heading right towards us. Just before it looked like it was going to fly into us, the bat turned and flapped away. Tony and I almost shit. We joined Greg who said look up there and was pointing into the trees. We looked and when our eyes adjusted we could see the tree tops moving. The trees were covered in bats. They were hanging, leaping and flying over head. There were hundreds if not thousands. There we were, the only 3 guys awake and outside in Sydney and there were Giant Killer Vampire Bats everywhere. It was fucking freaky! We shot video and took pictures. With each flash of the camera bats dropped from their perches and took flight. It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. None attacked us and we watched them for at least an hour before we desided to head back. No one had a watch but I guessed the time to be 2 or 3 am. As we were walking back Tony said, “The most haunted place is Sydney is right over there” and pointed at a spooky looking building. I said lets go check it out. After seeing hundreds of Giant Killer Vampire Bats it only seemed fitting to visit the most haunted place in the city. We walked a few blocks and came to the building. Tony told me on the tour they stopped and the driver told them that use to be a prison and then was a hospital and now was a world war two museum. He told me the guide has heard tales of the people who died there walk the halls at night moaning. I was a little spooked out after the bats and the this place was scary looking. Suddenly behind us came a police car. The officer asked what we were doing and we told him we were walking around pulling an all niter before our plane leaves in the morning. He said the museum was closed and we should head back to our hotel. We took his advise, my legs wear aching anyway. Tony said he knew the way back to the hotel and we followed. We walked about an hour before I told Tony I think were lost. He said he thought so too. We kept walking and a few minutes later we could see the Sydney Opera House. I knew we were lost then because I took a boat to the opera house and it wasn’t a 2 minute ride. We hadn’t seen a soul tonight except for the coffee shop worker and the cop. The streets were empty. It was like that old movie Omega Man where I think Paul Newman was the only guy alive in a city. It was weird. We made a left and headed in the direction I thought the hotel was. We walked another 5 minutes when out of no where a cab drove by. I flagged him down and he took us back to the hotel. We never would have found it! We desided to go and pack and meet in my room at 5:45am. The guys came up on schedule and we smoked our last joint before heading downstairs for our final breakfast. Lot’s of other Fostralians were already waiting for the breakfast buffet to open at 6am when we arrived. A few of my friends were wearing their tye dye’s including Tony and Greg and Patty. We all had a hearty breakfast and then headed to the lobby to wait for the busses. After another luggage clusterfuck we all checked in for the flight home.
I found my seat which was in the back, but not the back row. It was in a row of 2 and I was delighted. It was just a couple minutes before take off when a guy walked up and said I was in his seat. I thought there must be a mistake and he showed me his boarding pass. I got up and let him sit in the window seat where his ticket showed. He was about 20-25 years old, was dressed in grunge type clothes and had mild B O. I went to the area where the attendants were and told them I think there had been a mistake. I told him the story about how Tom didn’t make it and he told me the flight was full and that Quantas has the right to resell a seat if a passenger doesn’t check in within 15 minutes of departure. I was screwed. I returned to my seat and minutes later we were off. As soon as we were airborne the Quantas team began to perform again. They started off with drinks which were all free, including beer, wine and mixed cocktails. My rowmate quickly ordered a mix drink. He ordered and gulped about 8 drinks in the next hour. The more he drank the more he wanted to talk. Eventually I got up and went back to the staff area. I asked them to quit serving the guy because he was waisted. The next time he rang the button for a cocktail they came over and told him he had enough and offered him coffee or a soda. He got pissed and demanded a supervisor who came right away. The lead stew told him he had reached his limit for the time being and he would have to relax. The gave him a bottle of water and recommended he lay his seat back and sleep. He was still mad but settled down. He asked me to order a drink and then give it to him and I said no way mate. The entire trip was so uncomfortable. I had a stinky drunk college dude next to me instead of an empty seat. I couldn’t sleep so I watched like 4 movies and ate the food served. We landed in LA about 9am.
Lots of good-bye were heard and it was happy and sad. I was so happy to be back in America. I missed my Jessie and my Princess. Sad I would probably not see most of these people ever again in my life. As soon as I cleared customs I headed to the Southwest Gates. My Plane wasn’t scheduled to leave for Vegas until like 11:30am. I checked my luggage and asked if there were any earlier flights to Vegas I could catch. There was one leaving in 30 minutes, but she said my tickets were non transferable and I had to take the 11:30 flight. Disappointed and very tired, I headed to the gate where my plane was to leave from. It ended up being the same gate as the 10am flight to Vegas was departing from. I approached the lady at the counter and told her I missed my dog and asked if she could help. I told her I just returned from 2 weeks in Australia and I would love to get home as soon as possible. She made a phone call and gave me a boarding pass. My bags were loaded right under the seat I sat down in. Minutes later we were in the air. I arrived home at 11am on Saturday. Interestingly enough that was the same time I left Sydney. I was exhausted and happy to be home with Jessie and Princess.
I have been watching The Price Is Right for as long as I can remember. I went to my first live taping of The Price Is Right when I was about 20. While working at the airport I came up with the idea to charter a bus and to take a bunch of people from work and friends to the show. I got a great price for the bus, divided the cost and charged everyone their share. The first bus trip to TPIR went almost without a hitch. The bus showed up on time, we all met at the airport and we were off. The time was about 3am. The first few hours of the trip was very quiet. Everyone but the driver fell asleep. We pulled into Barstow for breakfast at The Famous Barstow Station McDonalds. With everyone hepped up on egg mc muffins and hash browns we headed back to the bus. Once back on the road I popped in a 3 stooges tape on the TV. The rest of the trip went fast.
We pulled into CBS and reported to where I was told to go. Once we checked in we were allowed to visit the Farmers Market and told to return in a couple hours. We did, we waited and waited and then we were finally in the studio. My favorite announcer Rod Roddy came out and did a pre-show warm up. The audience was about to burst with anticipation when the lights came on and people started to Called On Down. Then my TV Gameshow hero appeared, Bob Barker came through the doors and we were on our feet.
It was maybe 10 minutes later when a friend of a friend on our bus heard her name and was invited to COME ON DOWN! She won on her first bid, ran up on stage and won a car! What a cool thing to be apart of! She got to spin the wheel, but didn’t make it into the showcase. The whole ride home the bus was a buzz of the days events. It was nearly 11pm when the bus pulled back into the airport parking lot. It was a long day, but damn what a great day. The next day at work everyone wanted to go on my next trip.
Well I started working on a second trip right away. Once again we all gathered at the airport, got on the bus and headed off. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. No one knew what we were in for. The trip was smooth and easy until we reached the Cahone Pass. As we were approaching the hills in San Bernadino we ran into rain. The bus slowed to a crawl. Rain turned into snow as we got higher. We eventually were forced to stop due to traffic. The bus driver was told by a passing hiway patrol man that chains were going to be required to go any further. Now I was raised in Las Vegas. I have only seem snow a handful of times in my whole life. The bus driver said we had to chain up or turn back, so everyone desided to hop off the bus in the near blizzard and help the driver put on the chains. No one was dressed to be out in a blizzard. It took probably 30 minutes to install the chains. They were huge and I had never experienced the need for chains. We all got back on the bus and began the journey. The bus was only able to go maybe 10 miles and hour and the noise what deafening from the chains. We chugged along down the hill and eventually the snow was rain again. We stopped the bus and all helped the driver take the chains off. We were way behind schedule and pulled off at the next exit to call CBS. They said they would hold our seats and to get there as soon as possible. We finally arrived at CBS and because of our late arrival we weren’t able to eat lunch at the Farmers Market like we did before. We were held there until the show began hours later. Just like before Rod Roddy did the same warm up show, we were just as excited as before, and then the show began! This time they didn’t pick anyone from my group until the last chance contestant, he didn’t win the bid and got lovely parting gifts. What a bummer, no winner. We got back on the bus and went to a restaurant for dinner. After dinner and a few cocktails we boarded the bus and headed home just as it began to rain again. Traffic was horrible and it took hours to reach the San Bernadino hills where we were stopped again because of snow. This time only a few guys helped me and the driver put on the chains and take them off again. It rained all the way home. When we arrived at the airport it was about 4am.
That was the last bus trip I ever organized.
A few years later my sister called and said she thought we should go again, but this time fly. I thought about it, checked into group airplane ticket prices and put out the word. In no time we had 25 Price Is Right Fans who wanted to go. The day finally came and we met at the airport, flew to LA, rented a couple of big vans and drove to CBS. The trip was only 2 and a half hours from the airport in Vegas until we reached CBS. Flying was definitely the way to go. We had a great day and we had a big winner too! Our contestant won a washer and dryer, a bumper pool table and a new car! We all headed off to dinner and then to the airport. Needless to say, a second trip was a big topic at dinner and on the way home.
Three months later we repeated the flying process, We had another winner, this time he won a bedroom set and dishes! We were hooked and I was the ring leader. I continued to schedule trips over the next few years. Each time we went, someone got to Come On Down! We started wear group tye dye t shirts on about the 4th airplane trip. I watched as my good friends all get to come on down, they never picked me.
It was a after our 14th trip to The Price Is Right when I had a dream. I woke up with my arms in the air because I just won the showcase on over $43,500. I was so upset it was a dream. It was then I realized it wasn’t a dream, but a peak into my future.
In my dream I was wearing an orange, yellow and red tye dye shirt. I was the first contestant called on down after the initial 4 were called at the top of the show. I won a prize and played a game with Bob in the second half of the show, won the showcase showdown and eventually the showcase. My dream ended as my friends were joining me on stage and the amount $43,500 was flashing under my face on the monitor contestants can see during the showcase. It was a great dream and I desided I would make it happen.
Time came to order the shirts and dyes. I picked the colors I remembered from my dream. I told all my friends and family about my dream. Just about everyone thought it sounded great. Some friends and family hoped that if the trip came and I didn’t get picked I would not kill myself. Tom, Andrea and Shelly…..
The day finally arrived, it was June 21, 1999 it was already 98 degree’s at 8am when we arrived at the airport. Everyone arrived on time and put on their cool tye dye shirts that I made. Our group looked like we were on fire in our red, yellow and orange shirts as we boarded the 9:30 flight. We backed out on time and headed down the runway. That’s when the captain came on the speakers and said we were gonna park cause there was a gate hold in Los Angeles. The 20 minutes the captain said we had to wait turned to 30 then the captains voice returned with the news we were still on hold. We sat on the hot plane looking like fire until 11:30am when the captain said we were cleared to take off. We arrived in LA and called CBS immediately. They said they could hold our seat and to hurry. We arrived at CBS at 1:15. We were suppose to be there by 11:00am. Because of our late arrival we were not aloud to get lunch and were asked to stay in line. We broke off in pairs to get a snack. I passed on the snack and decided to smoke a joint I brought with me.
I spent my time in line saying hi to everyone and telling them I had a dream and I was gonna win the showcase. Most thought the same about themselves, but I knew it was my day. Around 2:30 the line started moving. We were about to meet the producers so he could make his picks. When it was my turn to talk I was ready. Roger was picking that day and I said, “Roger I had a dream I won today and I just want to thank you for picking me” he said great Scot and went to the next tye dye dressed person. After all the possible contestants were interviewed we were let into the Bob Barker studio. A few minutes later Rod Roddy appeared for the pre show frenzy. Finally it was showtime, the light were turned on, the music started and Rod started calling out names. I knew I wasn’t going to be called in the 1st four.
The contestants, all in place in contestants row, the door opens and out comes Bob. Everyone jumps to their feet and welcomes him. They brought out a prize that I knew the exact price for and Carlos won. He ran up on stage and lost a car. What a bummer start.
Bob stays on stage as he always does and chats with the audience during the commercial breaks while the stage hands prepare for the next game. It was at that time I looked at my friend Tom and said, “I’m going down next dude”. He replied with “shut the fuck up already, Bob’s talking and I’m tired of hearing about your fucking dream”.
That’s when the show came back from commercial and Bob ask Rod who was next. Rod Roddy said Scot, Scot Savage, Come On Down!
I stayed in my seat in shock as my entire group jumped up and down. I finally stood up, my head was spinning, the rest of the audience who I talked to outside also began to rise when they saw me heading on down. It was possibly one of the happiest moments of my life. Bob welcomed me to contestants row and inquired about the giant tye dye group. I could hardly speak. I told them the group was just my friends and we were all from Las Vegas. I then gave Bob the tye dye shirts I made for him and Rod. He thanked me and then said “What are they biddin on fellers”?
The turntable spun around and there was a silver service set displayed. I couldn’t believe it, I thought I knew the exact price. Bob asked me for my bid. I answer, that’s $1,650 Mr. Barker. The audience gasped, they thought I must be high, I was. The price was only like 500. Camelita who was standing next to me in line won the silver service, played a game and lost. Another bummer. Now back in commercial Bob speaks to us and hopes things turn around and we get some winners. The break ended and then Price Is Right History was made. The first ever contestant in a wheelchair was called on down.
He rolled over 3 of my toes as he joined us in contestants row. There was another prize brought out. I had never seen that item and bidded way to high. Scot loses again. The showcase showdown was about to start when I remember a part of my dream I had forgotten. In my dream I win the showcase against a ethnic woman in a red shirt. There on stage was my line neighbor Camelita who was I believe was Asian wearing a red shirt. I thought, If Camelita wins it’s gonna all happen.
That’s when I began to doubt my outcome. Carlos won the showcase showdown. But then I realized Carlos was wearing a red shirt too. Maybe it all will happen I thought as the stage crew hurried to get ready for the next game. It was at that time when I started to get major support from my friends and the audience. Francis, who sat next to Camelita in line stood up and said, “Scot Baby I know your gonna do it baby, don’t worry” My sister was pointing to her head and yelling “THINK, THINK, THINK” Tom looked worried I wasn’t gonna win and my Aunt Shirley was still tearing up watching her nephew have his dream come true. Bob said, “Well Scot, you better get up here”, then the commercial ended and he asked Rod for another player. Rod said Francis! She looked shocked and joined me in contestants row. When she arrived we hugged each other and jumped up and down. The brought out another prize and I made another losing bid. The contestant went up on stage and lost her game, bummer number 4. During the next commercial break Francis and I laughed that we both ended up down here. She said “I saw in your eyes you had a dream Scot. Your gonna win, don’t worry baby.” The commercial break ended, a new contestant joined Francis, wheelchair man and Scot. Bob said, “Kathleen Bradley, come on down with the next prize” Rod Roddy started talking and I heard him say The prize was a handsome men’s gold watch. I looked at the prize and thought it looked like about $900. Bob pulls out the price from the envelope and says , “Actual retail value $1,710. Scot your the winner! I raised my hands to the sky and the entire audience rose to their feet. My aunt started crying harder and I headed up on stage to play a game with Bob.
As I reached Bob on stage Kathleen and Janice were bringing out the Hi Low Game. Bob congratulated me and I said piece of cake Bob, piece of cake and pointed at the Hi Low game. Instantly I knew I wasn’t playing for a car, they never give cars on the Hi Low game. I asked Bob, “What do I win Bob, What do I win?” He chuckled and said lets hear about these products first. That’s when Rod Roddy started to tell me about the six items on the table. I knew at least 4 of the prices and had an idea on the other two so I didn’t pay much attention to Rod, I instead decided to talk with Bob. I told Bob I had a dream I won today and I was gonna win the showcase. I also told Bob what I thought to be the price of each product on the table. He laughed and asked if I can you do that again when Rod was done and I said sure. Rod finished his spiel and Bob said, “You gotta get a load of this guy, how much do these things cost?” I answered 3.99, 1.99, 5.99, 4.33, 2.99 and 3.30. Bob starts to laugh and drops his mic as the audience roars. Bob replies back with “This guy watches the Price Is Right” I answered him back, “That’s right Bob, what do I win?” Bob says “open the door”. The doors start to bam open revealing a dinning room set and dished. Rod Roddy is describing the prize package and I’m thinking, Great where can I put that? I know, I’ll give it to mom. It was then Rod finished with saying “It’s a prize package worth over $6,200 dollars”. I said “whoa Bob whoa”. Bob asked me for my first selection and I thought I would start with the most expensive and said, “the Jergen’s Lotion is over $5.00″. Bob pulls the price and it’s $5.99. Bob says “Now what?” and I answer “The Aqua Fresh is very pricey let’s try that” Bob laughed at my remark as the audience was still cheering about my previous selection. Bob answered me back with a “let’s do” as he pulls the price of $3.99. The audience cheers even louder. Bob said “I have a player here”. I looked out to my friends and could see all their faces, I saw the camera man turn the camera on them and Bob asked me for my last choice. I said, “My favorite beverage Bob, coffee.” Bob pulls the tag and reveals $3.09 and the audience moans. Bob tells me the 3 remaining product must be lower than $3.09, I answer back, Popcorn $1.99, he pulls the tag, I’m right, Bob laughs and the audience begins to scream again. Bob says “Do you know the price of the V8?” I couldn’t remember so I guessed $2.80, price was revealed as $2.39, the audience is now standing and screaming. Bob said “Do you know the price of this last item the spin fresh?” I answered with, “I’ve never seen that Bob, I’ll guess $1.99″ Bob pulls the price and it’s $2.29. Bob says, “your a winner” I gave him a big hug. As I squeezed him it felt like his suit was full of air so I didn’t squeeze so hard. I turned around to see the entire audience jumping up and down and cheering. I thanked them all and the show went to commercial. I was hustled off stage to the paperwork area as the crowd still cheered. One of the assistant producers asked me for my I.D. and we started to do the paperwork. The audience still was making noise when Bob asked Rod if I work in a grocery store, Rod said he didn’t know so Bob called for me. I stepped out from behind the curtain and Bob asked me what I did. I told him I sold real estate. He asked how I knew all those prices and I answer, I watch the show everyday! He laughed again and told the entire audience to learn this lesson, you gotta watch the Price Is Right everyday.
I finished with the paperwork just before the commercial break ended and returned from behind the curtain to another round of cheers from the audience. They were still cheering when Bob asked Rod for the final contestant’s name. I was hoping Francis would win the next bid. She didn’t and received lovely parting gifts. Wheelchair man won! That’s when the show came to a screeching halt. They had to assemble a pre built ramp for the wheelchair to get up on the podium area to play Cover Up. The stage hands had the ramp up in about 10 minutes and they practiced rolling him up and down the ramp for best camera shot. When they were ready Bob returned and told us no one will ever know this break happened if you don’t tell. Oops, did I just tell? Wheelchair man was finally in place and Bob asked Rod to show him a prize. The doors opened revealing a new car. Bob explained the Cover Up game to wheelchair man. He won the car on the first guess, Bob said that had never happened before. Two first on my show. First wheelchair contestant and first winner of Cover Up on the first chance. It was time to spin the wheel.
Roger the producer gathered the three of us on the stage and went over the rules of the showcase showdown and instructions on which way to walk if you win or lose. It was during this time Francis stood up and told Bob that I had a dream and it’s coming true. Bob said he knew cause I told him while I was on stage. The break ended with Bob standing in front of us and the big wheel. He welcomed the home audience back from the break and began going over the rules. When he was finished, he said, “Just as a warning to you two” as he pointed to Amber and wheelchair man, “Scot has already looked at the wheel and said I feel the power so give it a good spin Amber”. Amber spun the wheel and got 80 cents in her first spin. She stayed and then Bob said “here comes Scot, loyal friend and true to the Price Is Right, spin the wheel” The wheel weighed a ton. I gave it a huge spin and the wheel came to a stop on 50 cents. I spun again and this time the audience was chanting 50 50 50 50. The wheel came to stop at 90 cents and I was over. Bob sounded genuinely disappointed and said, “Aw Scot, you’ve gone over but you made playing the Hi Low game more fun than it’s ever been.”
My dream came true, but not completely, I won $7,997.00 in prizes not the $43,500 I dreamed of. I had one of the happiest days of my life. The fun continued after the show with all the hugs and handshakes from the audience members. Francis and I had another big hug in the parking lot. She was thrilled just to come on down and received about $650.00 in parting gifts. My group laughed all he way back to Vegas. I had a dream and made it happen. The proof will be when the show airs in September.
Scot Savage, Price Is Right winner 06-1999
Everyone thought trips to The Price Is Right were gonna end since I won. A true fan of the show would never stop going win or lose. I scheduled another trip for October. In the mean time, I had to wait until September 25th for my show to air. Finally my show date arrived. My sister called her favorite morning radio show to tell them a Las Vegas guy was gonna be on The Price Is Right and they asked her for my info. They called me on the air and we talked about the show. I must have sounded excited because they called the next day and wanted to talk some more. They even played a tape of me winning the Hi Low game. It was a blast to be so popular! That evening I threw a viewing party. I rented my moms club house, had two big screen TV’s brought in, bought tons of pizza, snacks and drinks and watched the show with about 75 of my friends and family. It was so much fun seeing how retarded I looked on TV. The party ended in a couple of hours because you can only watch me come on down and win so many times. I had a great day!
Now forward to October and the next trip. My neighbor Brenda was the 1st person called down at the top of the show. She won the first bid and took home the kareoke machine. She joined Bob on stage and Bob told her she was going to try to win The Hole In One Game. Bob asked Rod to show her the prize and he announced , “It’s A New Jeep!” Brenda looked scared to death. We didn’t do very well advising Brenda which order to place the items and she ended up being wrong on the second line. Bob took his inspiration putt and sank it! The audience cheered. Then it was Brenda’s turn. She lined up the ball, took a swing and the ball went sailing. She hit it so hard everyone knew she missed. I was in the middle of saying fuck when the ball hit the back of the putting green, bounced in the air and landed in the hole. Brenda Won The Jeep! She fell to her knees and kissed Bob shoe then ran to her new Jeep. What a lucky shot!
Brenda’s luck didn’t end there, she won the 1st showcase showdown! Brenda ended up top winner for the showcase and passed on the first one offered. She then was forced to bid on the dishes, washer and dryer and a Brand New Ford Explorer! We told her what to bid and we were off to the final commercial. Bob asked the audience who we thought won and the crowd was split. The break ended, Bob announced the actual prices of the showcases and Brenda won! We all joined her on stage as her total winning were flashed on the screen, $43,500! Exactly what I won in my dream. What a great day!
A few days later I arrived home from work and there on my step was a small box. I opened the box and found my new watch! I couldn’t believe the mailman just left a $1,710 watch on my steps. It was the nicest watch I’ve ever seen. I wore it with such pride. A couple of weeks later I lost the watch at the gym. I was devastated. I almost cried, I knew who ever stole my watch would have bad karma brought down upon them. The next day I had a knock on my door. It was Brenda who was all excited because the Jeep was just delivered. I ran out to see and that’s when she made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. She said she wouldn’t have won anything if I didn’t take her to the show and she wanted me to have the Jeep. I couldn’t believe it. I lost my watch and it was replaced with the jeep. I agreed to help Brenda pay the taxes on the jeep and she handed me the keys. I named my Jeep BOB. Weird how things work out. I dream I win $43,500. Instead I win a watch that is lost and a dinning room set I gave to my mom. Brenda wins $43,500 and gives me a jeep!
Life can be strange how things work.
We continued to fly as a group to The Price Is Right a few more times, but most of my friends had already come on down and I was stuck traveling with mostly strangers and friends of friends, so I stop organizing the trips. The last one was in November 2000. I don’t plan on taking another until October 14th, 2005 when my oldest nephew Chase turns 18.
NOTE: Since I finished writing this story my friend Rod Roddy has died. I miss Rod very much and the gentleman they replaced him with can not fill his shoes. I pray Bob stays in good health for many more years to come. I want to take all my nephews and nieces there on their 18th birthday. I am writting this NOTE on Sunday April 3rd, 2005 and by the way It’s A Beautiful Sunny Spring Day!
I was scheduled to get a new drivers license. I called and made an appointment. The day before the appointment I decided to dye my hair blonde so I could have a funny picture on my drivers license. Jessie had blue hair at the time and was delighted to dye big daddy’s hair. I sat there with myhead on fire for 30 minutes while this bleach burned my color and scalp away. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and ran to the shower. I emerged with bright blondish yellow hair. It didn’t look bad, but my scalp was still burning. Later that day nurse Nancy called. She told me she saw in the newspaper that there were going to be try outs for a trivia game show the next day at the Circus Circus. She asked if I wanted to go and I said fuck yeah. We decided to go together and she was going to come over around 11 am the next day.
I was already wearing tye dye everyday and even had my tyedyeweb site by this day in my life. I invited Tom, Jessie and Kenny to go with Nancy and I. Kenny said no way, Jessie declined, but Tom was in. Tom arrived early and we smoked weed while watching The Price Is Right. Around 10:50 Nancy called and said she was having car troubles. I offered to pick her up, but she said she would meet us there if she could get her car going. Tom and I watch the showcase on The Price Is Right and then left.
We arrived around 11:20 and found a parking place right in front of the entrance, what a lucky spot I told Tom. We walked in and we were exactly where we were suppose to go. There was only one person there, a girl at a table by the sign. We approached the girl and said hello. She said that the noon try outs were running about an hour late because the 10am group got started late. We asked her about the show we were trying out for. She said it was a trivia show like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire but contestants were voted off like Survivor. I loved both showsso I thought that this would sure be a hit. She told us we could go in the room and just hang out so we did. The room was a big convention conference room. There were rows and rows of chairs and tables with a couple of TV’s and VCR’s on cartsup front. Tom followed me to the front row. We weren’t alone for long. The room filled up in the next 30 minutes until all the seats were taken. Everyone was chatting and the room was very crowded and loud when people with the show entered the room. They asked for quiet and welcomed us. The said that we were going to all stand up in turn, say our name, give them our age and profession and then sit down. They started in the back. I sat there watching the producers while the others introduced themselves. I watched this ladies face when someone said they were a real estate agent. She seemed to look disgusted. A few minutes later a second Realtor introduced themselves and she made the same sour look. There were like 200 people in this room and them a third Realtor chimed in. I knew that a real estate agent was not who they were looking for. They finally got to the front row. Tom stood up, said he was a mortgage lender and sour puss thanked him and looked at me. I stood up and said, My Name Is Scot, I’m 36 and I sell Tye Dye on the web. She asked me what was tye dye and I told her like my shirt I’m wearing. She said Oh Yeah, that’s right and went to the last contestant wanna be’s inthe front row with me.
As soon as the last person was done they started passing out paper and pen. They said we were going to take a 20 question test. He would read the question twice and only twice. He said on the show they only read the question once so he was giving us a break. He then started the quiz. I don’t wanna sound like a smart ass, but I think I got 19 right. They collected the test, went to a table to score them and said we could all just chat while they scored them. Tom said he thought he did well and I know I did. It was about 20 minutes later when they asked for our attention again. They thanked us for coming and said everyone was dismissed but the following people. They started calling names and people standing up. They started in the back of the room and were moving forward. They skipped a bunch of rows in the middle and then called a lady behind me and then me. I made the cut! Tom told me he would wait out side and said “Go get em tiger.”
There were only 10 people left and they asked the rest to join me up front to watch the show on the TV’s. They played a tape of the English TV Show they said was a huge hit there. They showed us a small clip of the opening and about 3 minutes of some English lady asking questions to scared looking Britians. In retrospect, they showed us round one of the show, and only the question and answer part. They did not play any tape of her chatting with the contestants.
The producer stopped the tape and invited all to stand against a wall where they gave us a big name tag and took a Polaroid photo of each of us. I made a goofy smile like I always do when there’s a camera around. They then asked us to stand in line behind a table. They said we were going to be asked questions like on the show and then all vote to eliminate The Weakest Link. They asked us in turn 3 questions, I was in the 1st position and received the 1st question. I missed the second one, but got 1 and 3 right. They then said write down the name of the who you thought was the weakest link of us. They said to reveal our answers and show the producers the name written down on the paper who we thought was the weakest link. They started with me as in the question round. I held my paper up and showed them I wrote down the mans name at the end who missed all 3 of his questions. They went down the line and when all the votes were counted, they guy I picked was the weakest link. They told the guy if he couldn’t cut it here he couldn’t cut it on the show and asked him to leave. I thought how embarrassing. Then the producers said we were going to play another round. Again they started with me and this time I was right 3 for 3. Again I voted for the person who missed them all and again the producers asked the weakest link to leave. Once there were only 8 of us left they said we were done. They said that they would be calling us if we were selected to be on the show. We walked out where the losers were waiting for us (Hi Tom). Tom was waiting for a report and I couldn’t help but share what had happened. Sitting near Tom was a man wearing Black with a camera who was in the room when everyone was introducing themselves. He asked my name and wrote it down. He said in a British accent, Your just the type they are looking for mate, I bet you get a call. He said he was a reporter from England and gave me his card. He asked me to call him if and when they call me for the show. I was encouraged by his remarks, but they said don’t call us, we’ll call you.
A couple of weeks passed and I assumed I was not selected when I got the call. The lady on the phone asked if I would like to be on The Weakest Link. I said hell yes and she asked me for a fax number to send me the information. The fax was like 20 pages. It included wardrobe directions, flight information, hotel information and the contestant agreement. The contestant agreement stated in one part that we understood and wouldn’t sue NBC for being defamed in anyway on TV. I was so excited! I was leaving for Los Angeles in7 days. The wardrobe directions asked us to bring three outfits to the taping. The outfits should be something that you would wear to a wealthy friends house party. To me that meant Tye Dye with buttons, but my friends and family all talked me into buying dress clothes. I spent over $500.00 at the big mans store buying 3 pairs of slacks, 3 dress shirts, 3 ties and a belt. I knew I would never wear these clothes again, but I wanted to follow the directions, so I bought them.
Since I was picked to be on the show as The Tye Dye Guy and not a real estate agent, I decided I would bring a bunch of tye dye shirtswith me to give away and never mention I sell house. I thought since we were going to be voting each other off, a free t shirt might buy me some love. One day before the trip I was called by the show. They wanted to make sure I didn’t change my look since they saw me. They asked if I was still blonde and I said yes. OK, my roots were brown, but the rest was still blonde. I ran to Walgreens and picked up more bleach. An hour later I was blonde again and this time it didn’t burn as much. The day finally came. Wearing tye dye andcarrying a suit bag with my monkey clothes and a second suitcase 3/4 full of tye dye to be given away and the rest my clothes for the next 3 days, I was off to LA. The second the plane touched down I told myself, “Game on tye dye guy.” As I entered the baggage claim area I spotted my name on a poster being held up by a cute girl. I was about 20 feet away heading towards her when she yelled Scot and started waving at me. I asked her how she knew who I was and she said she had seen the tape they made of the try outs I attended in LasVegas. We claimed my bag and she radioed that we were ready. We went outside when a small pick up truck awaited. The guy in the truck loaded my bags in the back and said hop in. The girl told him I was the last contestant and said she would see him back at the hotel. We drove around the horseshoe driveway of LAX and pulled up behind a white van with black tinted windows. The driver said he would get my bags loaded and asked me to board the van. I entered the van and it was full accept for the back seat. Everyone was chatting until I appeared then there was total silence. I said “Hi Kids, I’m Scot from Las Vegas” and I was answer with afew hello Scot and some other greetings. One guy ( Eventually I learned his name was Nick, the dumb gym owner from Ohio) made a comment that it was about time I got there as I sat down. I returned his comment with “I Just Landed and the plane was on time, sorry”.
The last thing I wanted to do right off the bat was stand out or not get along with the other contestants. Being the last one to arrive and the one who held everyone up was not being inconspicuous at all. I was the fattest, baldest and oldest passenger in the van. I stood out like a sore thumb. I joined in the conversation where everyone introduced themselves to me and said where they were from. The ages ranged from 19 to me 36, half were boys and half were girls. It was during the van ride to the hotel when the driver told us that they were taping the first two episodes tomorrow. Some of us on the van were scheduled for the AM taping and the rest for the PM taping. He said the other contestants arrived earlier and were at the hotel already. The driver told us to go to the check in desk as soon as we arrive and them wait in the lobby for our next step. I was the last out of the bus, last in line and the last contestant to the lobby.
There were about 20 people waiting in the lobby when one of the shows producers welcomed us again. He said we were all going to have our luggage delivered to our rooms, all have a short meeting individually with himand then be released for the rest of the day. While waiting for our chat with the guy, we all decided to go out to dinner as group and get to know each other better. I broke out the tye dye t shirts and they were grabbed up in an instant. I brought a bunch and most got two or three shirts each. I thought, these people love me! How could they vote me out after I gave them such cool shirts. The group decided to meetin the lobby at 5pm, giving everyone a chance to freshen up and change clothes. Finally they called me over for my chat. The producer was sitting there with the paperwork and Polaroid from the tryouts. He asked me about my day and I told him how excited I was to be there. He told me I was scheduled for the PM show and that I was free to explore Hollywood, but be dressed and ready for the show for a 1pm pickup the next day. He said see you tomorrow and I headed to my room to smoke a fatty that I had smuggled in my socks.
Dressed for dinner and stoned off my ass I went downstairs about 4:30. I didn’t want to hold up the group. We were checked into the Universal Sheridan Hotel. It was half way up a mountain. On the top was Universal Studios and the City Walk. We decided to head there and have dinner at a restaurant called the Rain Forest Cafe. I was in no mood to walk up the rest of the hill and there were cabs sitting right there so I offered to give a ride to those interested. There was no arm twisting, five others and I climbed in for the 5 minute ride to the studio walk. The rest started walking. We riders were the first to arrive and we told the hostess we were like 15 for dinner. (some contestants wanted to do their own thing and didn’t want to hang with the group, how stupid I thought). My new friends thanked me for the ride as we waited for the rest to find us seated in the restaurant. I was working them and they didn’t know it.
Dinner was nice. Everyone talked about where they were from and what they did for a living. I told them I sold Tye Dye and never mention real estate. After dinner we all walked around the Universal Studio City Walk. It was sorda weird. I felt like I was on Survivor. I was starting to build some friendships and hoping these relationships would keep them from voting me off. All that was missing here were TV camera’s following my every move. I knew every word I said or didn’t say could get me voted off the next day. I watched one contestant, Paul from Seattle, work the group, talking behind others backs about who was seen chatting with who and who might be making alliances against him and others. I tell ya, he made the whole trip a trip! I couldn’t stand the guy. He was my number one pick to vote off first. Nobody approached me about any alliances at dinner, or during our stroll on City Walk. We reached the end of the walk and the group decided to head back to the hotel, freshen up and then meet down in the lobby in an hour to explore Hollywood. I saw the cabs there, waved him over and offered a ride back to the hotel for all who could fit. Once back in my room I fired up another fatty and called home to report the trip so far.
It was time to meet downstairs, I was the first one there! It was a chilly night in Los Angeles! I was wearing a tye dye polo shirt and my blazer jacket for the warmth. The group headed down to the main street where there just happen to be a subway stop. I was excited and so were a few others, because I had never been on a subway. We rode the train for a few stops and got off on Hollywood and Highland. During the ride Donado, the young college student gave us all a show doing a pole dance on the subway. Nice butt. We walked down Hollywood Boulevard and saw the walk of stars. I had let it slip that I was on the Price Is Right in 1999, so when Bob Barkers star appeared I was encouraged to get down and have a picture taken with it, I did! Paranoid Paul was still being a pain in the ass as we walked down the street. We came upon The Hollywood Wax Museum and as a group, decided to go in. Paranoid Paul seemed not to want to spend the $20 bucks, said he was tired and said he was going to head back to the hotel. Good Night Paul. We were a group of 8 now. I thought to myself, We just voted Paul Off! Just about everyone commented after he left how much of a paranoid asshole he was and how we were happy to see him gone. Someone said “Let’s vote him off first OK?” and nobody said no. Hmmmmmm, I was already playing the game, was everyone else?
The wax museum was cheesy but cool. I had my camera and snapped a couple pics, One up the skirt of Marilyn Monroe. Hey, didn’t you ever wanna see under that skirt? Anyway, The tickets we bought also include entry into the Guinness World RecordsMuseum across the street from the wax museum. It was right up there on the cheese scale with the wax museum. Save your money. We left the second museum and decided to head back to the City Walk to one of the cool bars located there. On the way I back I asked if anyone wanted to smoke with the tye dye guy. I pulled out a fatty and a couple other contestants puffed and passed with me on our walk down Hollywood Boulevard. We finally made it back to the subway station. We jumped back on the subway and returned to the base of Universal Mountain. A couple of contestants (Including the gym owner Nick the Neck) wanted to call it a night and went to the hotel. The rest of us jumped in the nearby cabs and took a ride to the top. I said to myself, we just voted off Nick and Yvonne.
We ended up at BB KINGS Blues club. It was a weekday, around 11pm and they were having KareokeeNight. John from Boston said he was a jazz signer so he had to show off for us. It was then that Dennis (Rocket Scientist From Back East Somewhere) whispered that he would like to make an alliance with me. I thought I’d wait and see who drops out from the group before committing. I told him I would talk to him in the morning about it cause it was to noisy and we almost had to yell to hear each other in there. Minutes later Dennis said he was on east coast time, excused himself, and headed back to the hotel. I thought to myself, the final five. Drinks and sing along continued until last call. The last of the contestants headed back via another Scot paid cab ride.
I called home and reported in to Jessie. Smoked another joint, read my trial pursuit cards and tried to go to sleep. It took me hours before my brain allowed me to rest. My eight o clock wake up call made me jump out of bed. I brewed a cup of coffee, and read my trial pursuit cards some more. I took a shower and went down stairs for breakfast. When the elevator doors opened I saw the am contestants waiting for their 10am pick up. Man, they all looked so nice. I thought I did the right thing by following the directions and buying the monkey suits. I headed to the hotel restaurant and found they were serving a breakfast buffet. I couldn’t believe they charged like 25 bucks. I’m from Vegas, the land of the $1.99 breakfast buffet, which wasn’t much worse than this $25.00 one. Dennis the rocket scientist joined me as I sat down. He immediately started alliance talk. I listened and told him I think the best strategy to win the most money was to always vote out who ever missed the most questions. He reluctantly agreed when he finally realized I wasn’t going to commit to an alliance with him. We finished our breakfast and each headed back to our rooms. I watched some TV and went over my cards some more. I didn’t smoke before breakfast and decided to stay straight until after the show. I just studied and watch the clock. At noon I shaved and took another shower before dressing up. I didn’t look bad, but this tucked in dress shirt and slacks were just not comfortable. I went downstairs to the lobby where paranoid Paul was sitting twitching. He yelled Scot and waved me over. I prayed that someone would join us soon. He began drilling me for information about our activities after he left us. Man I hated this guy. He asked if I was in any alliances and I told him no. If I was I sure wouldn’t have told him anyway. What a dick! Minutes later my prayers we answered and more contestants arrived in the lobby. I realized there was something wrong when 12 people showed up and I knew there were only 8 contestants. Everyone looked good. Even Nick the neck gave his head a fresh shave and was all shinny up top. The producers from the day before arrived in two vans and asked us to all get in. One of the others asked my question to our driver. He asked why there were 12 people there for a show with 8 contestants. He said four of us were not going to play. I was shocked. After all this I might not even get to play? That sucked. I began to think which 8 would make it and hoped I was included.
We arrived at NBC and exited the vans right in front of Jay Leno’s parking space. We were told to be silent and to follow the producer waving to us at the door. We walked by the studio where the Tonight show was taped and pass the hallway the leads to the famous green room and Leno’s dressing room. We were taken to a large room with high brown walls. They brought in our suit bags with the other outfits we were told to bring and invited us to take a seat. There were other people in the room when we arrived. We were asked to take a seat around the tables. They passed out copies of the contestant agreements that were faxed to us. They said they wanted hard copies and asked us to sign new agreements. It was then that they told us the first show was being taped in the studio we walked past and when they were done we would be ready to play. In the mean time they had the makeup and wardrobe ladies come in. I was asked to change out of blue monkey suit to another color because blue didn’t stand out well on the set. A couple others were also asked to change into their extra outfits. My grey outfit was approved by the wardrobe lady and I was sent to make up. I couldn’t believe I was having make up put on. It made me sweat even more than I was before and lets just say I was already moist with nerves. The make up lady and wardrobe chick loved the last two tye dye t shirts I packed into my dress clothes suit bag when I gave them to them. Once we were all changed and made up the producers returned to the big brown room. They said welcome and commented on how good we all looked. It was then that they told us the four other people in the room were not selected for the first show, but were going to be added to our contestant pool. Fuck, now we were 16 people and there were still only 8 spots. After spending all that money on the monkey clothes, the cost of like 40 tye dye t shirts, half dozen cab rides and all the rounds of drinks I might not even get a chance to play for the million dollars. Before they left the 16 contestants alone again, the producers said the first show was going slow and they were behind schedule. They said to help ourselves to the hospitality table and just hang out. Hours passed. Occasionally a contestant coordinator would enter the room and take a suit bag from the rack and leave. I figured that she was retrieving the bags for the contestants as they were voted off the show and I was right. Eventually there were just two bags left. The owners names were written on masking tape that was attached to the bags. The two bags belonged to Margaret who I didn’t know and Eric who was part of our dinner and subway crew. I hoped Eric would win. Finally the same coordinator enteredand took away both bags, leaving the 16 bags belonging to the pm show pool. It was getting late in the afternoon and my stomach was starting to think my throat was cut when the producers entered and said because the other show taping just ended we were all going to have dinner before we start. We were asked to stay put until they came back for us. About 30 minutes later we left the big brown room, walked into the big brown room next door and filled our plates. The room was full of employees of the show and they had already visited the buffet. The contestants were asked to get their dinner and return to the other brown room to eat.
After dinner we were all lined up against a wall. The producers had a stack of questions. They went over “Banking” and then we played a couple of rounds of questions. It was at this time that they dropped the bomb on us. They said that the host MAY talk to us about our answers and who and why we voted for who we did. They asked us to respond to the host when asked, keep it clean and have fun. Nobody knew the English lady was going to tear us new assholes. The producers left again and there we stood staring at each other again. A few minutes later it was announced that we were all going to meet individually with the producers for their final contestant selection. One by one all 16 people were asked to visit the brown room next door. When it was my turn I walked into the room and found three producers sitting at a table with a chair in front of them. I sat down and they said Hi Scot. They asked me why I thought I would make a good contestant. I told them I was smarter than I looked and I wanted to prove it to my friends and family. They thanked me and asked me to send in the next contestant. I returned to the room not knowing if my answers were good enough to be selected. 30 minutes after all the one on one interviews were over the producers returned with a glass bowl with papers inside. They said the following people were going to play The Weakest Link. The reached into the bowl, pulled out a paper and said, Dennis, position Number One. They then reached in again and then said, Nick, Number 2. Then Yvonne, Number 3, Candice Number 4. I was starting to panic, there were only 4 spaces left and 12 people waiting to hear their names. They reached in the bowl again and said Helen Number 5. I felt my chance slipping away. They reached in the bowl again and this time they said Scot, Number 6. I MADE IT! They finished with Andrea 7 and Brad 8th. Just like that, the selections were done. They asked the lucky 8 to follow them to the studio and we said our good-byes to the 8 left behind.
We were lead into a side door of what I later learned was the original Tonight Show sound stage. They had us stand against the wall behind a black curtain where we went over the opening. They said we would be introducing ourselves as the camera turns to each one of us. We were to say our name, age and what we did for a living. They told us we had to all get it right or we would have to start over. They wanted us to practice. They started with Dennis and headed towards me. Everyone did great until they got to me. I didn’t say what they wanted me to say, I was nervous. They stopped us and said we would have to start over again. Dennis started again and guess what, I fucked up again. The producer told me to relax and to have fun. I couldn’t because this whole trip had been a trip. After the 2 fuck ups, I was feeling the pressure. I passed the introduction! But Andrea fucked up so we had to start over again. The next time we all said what was acceptable and they said good. They then took us to what I call the 90210 stage. The placed us on 3 platforms of various heights. They told us to pretend that we were all chatting to each other, even look like we are plotting against each other. We stood there for like 15 minutes as a camera panned up and down and left and right. We didn’t know we were shooting the opening, we never saw the show before. We were standing there for over 10 minutes when Candice (one of the two other who share a joint with me the night before) leaned into me. She whispered she was in an alliance who wanted and needed me. Since I felt I stood out as an idiot during the practice opening, I thought I better join the Candice alliance. She said vote out Yvonne First, Then Nick, then Helen, then Brad and then Andrea. That left her and the alliance crazy Dennis. I had joined the Dennis alliance after all. I agreed and never spoke to her again until that evening back at the hotel.
After the opening was shot we were taken back to the wall where we practiced the opening. They had us practice one more time while the studio audience was loading into their seats. Everyone did good and we were told to stand there and not talk to each other. Once the audience was seated the announcer came out and welcomed them to the new NBC hit Weakest Link. We could hear the audience talking amongst themselves and the tension was high. Once the audience was seated and given their instruction (no clapping and no answer calling out) they were told they could laugh if something was funny. The eight contestants were marched out to the set. We walked around the corner and there were our names on the podiums. Some contestants were shorter than me (the tallest contestant) and they were given clear boxes to stand on so we could all be about the same height. The sound people came out and started to mic us. It was during the micing a voice came from over the load speaker. The voice said “Scot, did you bring a tye dye shirts to wear on the show?” I replied no, only monkey clothes, the audience chuckled. That’s when I remembered I gave a XXL shirt to the make up lady. I told the stage hand about the shirt and he ran off. Minutes later he returned and called me behind the black curtain. I followed him and he handed me back the shirt I gave to the make up lady. He told me they picked the tye dye guy to be on the show and they wanted me in tye dye. I ripped off the tie and quickly changed my shirt. The stage hand put my microphone back on and lead me out to the stage again. When I came around the corner wearing the tye dye the other contestants clapped and the audience chuckled some more. They tye dye guy was on the set. I felt so much better! They asked us to return to the 90210 set and we re-shot the opening with me wearing a tye dye shirt. This time the opening taping only took a couple minutes and when done we returned to the stage and stood in front of our podium. The stage manager walked up and stood where the host was going to stand and told us about the podiums. He told us to keep a hand on the podium at all times to make sure we were “grounded” and told us how to vote and reveal our votes. I thought they might be shocking the Weakest Link when he mentioned “grounding” Once we all understood the directions the stage manager left, the light went down, and out walked the host.
She welcomed the audience and the contestants and ended by saying “This is the last time you will see me smile” (she wasn’t smiling when she said that). She then turned around and took her spot. Seconds later the music started and the show began. As the host was doing her opening lines the camera was panning around the set. I knew I was in the shot behind her. I was laughing inside and scared shitless at the same time. Once she was done with her opening remarks they stopped and brought in the boom camera. It was lowered and centered on Dennis. When cued, Dennis said his line, the camera moved to Nick, he did fine, Then Yvonne, then Candice, then Helen, then me. I did fine and so did the rest. We did a clean opening. The boom camera was removed and then the host came back. They started taping again and she read the rules then yelled ” START THE CLOCK”. That’s when my ass tightened up and I could feel my heart pounding in my throat. The host had a strong English accent and was a bit hard to understand over the load music playing in the background. I watched as the camera and host headed towards me. Finally she looked directly at me and said “Scot, in literature” LITERATURE, I HATE BOOKS, WHY DID SHE SAY SCOT IN LITERATURE? Well I missed the 1st question, but I wasn’t alone. 4 of the 5 before me missed their questions too. The lights were spinning around on the ceiling and floor, the music was loud, this English chick was incredibly hard to understand and she was heading back to me. She asked me my second question which I answered correctly. I felt so much better. I wasn’t paying attention to who was doing well or not. I knew my first vote was Yvonne. The questions kept coming, she asked me a 3rd and I got it wrong. Damn, I was 1 for 3 and then the timer ran out. Round one was over.
The host told us it was time to vote who who we thought was the Weakest Link. Once she said that she disappeared behind another black curtain and the stage manager returned to the set. They brought out the boom camera from the opening. The manager told us to pretend we were still writing down our votes while the camera pans and zooms in and out. After 5 minutes of pretending to vote they said pens down and the boom camera was removed. The host returned and when cued she said it’s time to reveal the votes. She stepped back and the boom camera returned. Once it was set on Dennis they gave him the cue and he revealed his vote for Yvonne. The camera moved to Nick and his podium button stuck and didn’t reveal the vote. They yelled cut, reset on Dennis and started over. Dennis revealed his Yvonne vote again, Nick voted for Candice (WHO ENDED UP ANSWERING MARY TO EVERY FIRST ROUND QUESTION, Mary being short for MaryJane, “WEED”) Yvonne revealed a vote for Scot, (what a bitch) Candice went for Yvonne as planned, Helen voted Dennis then I got to reveal my vote for Yvonne which was great cause she voted for me. The voting continued with Andrea and Brad voting Candice. There was tie. 3 votes Candice and 3 votes Yvonne. Brad who was the strongest link got to chose. Before making his selections it was time for the host to ream the contestants. She went around the board confronting each contestant on their answers and why the voted the way they did. This seamed to last forever. Once she had yelled at the last contestant she asked Brad who he wanted to kick off. He booted Candice because he didn’t know who this Mary lady was, but she wasn’t the answer to any questions. My party buddy from the night before was the first one voted off. There goes my alliance I said to myself.
Candice was escorted to a small room withglasswindows that looked down on the studio. They said they were going to tape a few minutes with her to get her feeling on being voted off. They said stand by. 15 minutes later the stage manager said “Man what’s taking so long, she was only on the show for 5 minutes” Finally the lights were dimmed in the glass room, Candice emerged and headed down the stairs. It was at this time I decided to return to my original idea and start voting off the weakest link. She was escorted out the side door we entered. Seconds later Anne the host returned and said Round Two, Start the Clock.
This round I answered 2 out of 3 right and listened to all the wrong answers that came from Nick The Neck. The one question I did miss was a question about Tequila that I read off the Trivial Pursuit cards at least 3 time. What an idiot! Speaking of idiots, Nick was gym owner and he missed two sports questions. The round ended and we were told to write down our vote to who we thought was the weakest link. After the boom was brought out and the fake voting tapped again the hostess returned. She said it was time to reveal the votes. Dennis pushed his button and said Yvonne (I guess he thought he would stick with the plan even thou Candice was gone.) Nick reveals a Yvonne vote too. The rest of the panel revealed votes for Nick. Dennis looked at me from across the stage and pointed his head towards Yvonne. I guess he thought we were still a team and was wondering why I didn’t vote for her. The reason was easy, with Nick on the team we were never gonna bank any money. Anne started yelling at us with me. She started on me about missing the Tequila question and I answered back to her “I guess I should drink more often Anne” the studio audience gave me a whooooo. I was the first one to say anything snappy back to the scary bitch. Once she was done reaming everyone again she sent Nick walking.
Round 3 started and I answered my first two questions correctly. The studio clock disappeared at 30 seconds, so the contestants had to sorda count down in their mind. I knew there was only seconds left when Anne asked me a question that made me famous. She said, Scot, In Business, What woman has been the chief executive of Playboy Magazine since 1988. I didn’t know, so I answered one of my “Go To Answers”. I had a place, France, a man, Earnest Borgine, a woman, Rosie O Donnel and a food, Pizza. Since she said what woman, I answered Rosie O Donnel. The audience busted up and the time ran out. When it was time to vote again, I planned on voting Yvonne because she missed all her questions, not because Dennis and I were in cahoots.
After the fake voting ended again it was time for the 3rd round reveal. Dennis started and for the 3rd round in a row voted Yvonne. Yvonne went next and that bitch had written down my name again. Helen voted Dennis and the rest of us picked the bitch radio disc jockey Yvonne. Needless to say, when Anne came out to ream us, she started with me and my Rosie Answer. The audience and other contestants were laughing (All But Yvonne) as Anne and I talked about Rosie being the boss of Playboy. Anne finally turned away and asked Dennis why he had voted Yvonne 3 rounds in a row. The bitch moved on and eventually told Yvonne to take the walk of shame. Good Bye Yvonne!
I thought Helen would be next to go in Dennis’s mind, since the picking order was Yvonne, Nick, Helen. Round 4 started. I went 2 for 3 again, banked the only money that would go to the next round while I watched my friend Dennis miss 2 questions, one on science and blew $10,000.00. When it was time to vote I went with my head, not my alliance and voted Dennis. The other girls also voted Dennis, but Brad the doctor voted Scot. 3 Dennis votes sent Dennis walking the walk of shame. The rocket scientist missed the science question and lost the team $10,000, what a dumb ass.
Round 5 was about to begin when I realized I was in the final 4. Helen and Brad were not apart of our tour group the night before, but Andrea was one of the final 5 who were there when the bar closed. I knew I had a good chance since I knew Andrea wouldn’t vote me off, and Helen had like 3 of my Tye Dye T shirts in her suitcase. Brad who was a doctor was going to get my next vote no matter what happened in retaliation for voting for me and I expected he would vote for me again. I felt good that I had a chance and might just win. Anne appeared and round 5 started with another yell from Anne, “START THE CLOCK”
I went one for three, my worst round since the first one. I voted for Brad as I planned. I was praying Andrea or Helen or both would realize it’s time to vote off the doctor. When it was time for the reveal. I was feeling confident I would still be there for round 6. Helen reveled first and shocked me, she Said “SCOT” I gulped as the camera turned to me and I said “Brad?” Then the camera moved to Andrea and she said , “SCOT”. My heart dropped, the audience moaned and the camera moved to Brad who said , “Helen”. The girls took me out.. I couldn’t believe I was done. How could Andrea have voted for me? I thought Helen liked me and my shirts in her suitcase. When Anne started yelling at the girls for answers to why they voted for me, Helen said she didn’t like my T Shirt. The audience booooooed her. Andrea couldn’t give Anne a good reason for her vote and Brad said he voted Helen because he thought she was the weakest link that round. Anne finally let me go after she was done yelling at the girls and the audience gave me applause as I was dismissed to take the walk of shame. My quest to win a million dollars was over, I was the Weakest Link.
I was escorted to the glass whine booth where I was hammered by the producers to talk bad about the girls and Anne. I didn’t have anything much to say because I was so disappointed. They kept asking questions until I had made enough comments that they thought they could use. I came down the stairs and the studio audience cheered for me again. I stopped at the bottom of the steps and waved good-bye as I was taken out the way I came in.
Once I was out of the studio the production person who escorted me out started to tell me how funny I was. I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was scared shitless. He said I was going to be one of the most memorable contestants and handed me my suit bag. I haven’t touch my luggage since I arrived in LAX. Now that I’m a loser, I was expected to carry my bag. I was told to exit the studio through the door we came in where the van awaited me. I shlepped my suit bag and heartbroken ass to the van. Up until now, the van doors were always opened and ready and there was someone to load luggage. Now it was 10pm, I was a loser, the van was sitting there running, doors closed. I opened the front door, was told to put my luggage behind me and I was driven back to the hotel. My driver said my Rosie answer was sure to make me famous and I chuckled. I thought he was just trying to be nice to the latest loser he was taking back to the hotel. When we arrived back at the hotel I was dropped at the side door, told to get my bag and handed 2 cards. One card was the NBC attorneys in case I thought I was done wrong and wanted to sue and the other card was for a physiotherapist if I needed to chat about the experience. The contestant agreement contained a clause that if I revealed the outcome of the show to anyone I could be sued for one million dollars. He said if I have to talk to anyone, talk to the physiotherapist. He said good night and then drove off. I took my suit bag upstairs and fired up a joint. I smoked the whole thing and was totally stoned when I thought I would go downstairs and see who was next to be dropped off. About 30 minutes later Helen appeared. She came up to me and apologized for voting for me. She said she now realized she should have taken out the doctor. We hugged and she went upstairs to drop off her bag. That left Andrea and Brad at the studio battleing it outfor the bank. I sat at the bar with an eye on the front and side doors waiting for the white vans return. An hour later the van pulled up. Brad and Andrea exited the van and headed to the lobby. Neither could tell me who won, I didn’t even ask. I could tell from Andrea’s face it wasn’t her. Andrea came up to me and gave me a hug and told me she was sorry for voting for me. She said “I should have kept you and voted for Brad”. We hugged again and ordered a drink. Brad retired to his room and didn’t come back down. Andrea and I had a couple drinks and called it a night. When I got back to my room I had a message from the English reporter I met in Las Vegas. He said he wanted to see me in the morning. I called him back told him I had a 11am flight and they were picking me up at 9am. He told me he would pick me up at 8am, take me to breakfast and then take me to the airport. I agreed.
8am found me dressed and waiting in the lobby with my luggage. I saw Brad and said good morning. He told me if I would have voted Helen and not him there would have been a tie. As strongest link that round he said he would have gotten rid of Helen and kept me. Now I felt even worse, Thanks Brad! The reporter showed up right on time, helped me with my bags and took me to his favorite breakfast place. He ended up working for the Star Magazine. When he found out I had a camera with me and had pictures of my link experience he asked for the camera. He said he could have the pictures developed next door before we were done with breakfast and he would pay for the whole lot. I figured I spent enough money already and took him up on the offer. He made 3 copies, one for him and two for me. The only one he liked was the one I had taken of me in front of my podium. He drilled me for info during breakfast and I told him about the contestant agreement. I told him I couldn’t give him any details and he understood. He asked what day they said my show would air and I told him I didn’t know. He asked for me to call him when I did. He continued to ask questions all through breakfast and on the drive to LAX. I never gave away any secrets.
When I arrived back home and walked in the door I was greeted by Jessie, Tom and Kenny. Everyone wanted details. They all knew I was the winner. They knew I wasn’t allowed to talk, but kept up the questions. All I wanted to do was get stoned, take a shower and go to sleep. I told them what I could and then I did just what I planned. Everyone I know called me in the next 48 hours to learn what happened and when I told them I couldn’t say, many got mad at me. Most understood and even saw the agreement I signed. The show called a few days later and told me when my show would air. Now I at least could tell people when to watch. I called the English reported and he asked if his friend in Las Vegas could come over and interview me. I agreed to April 26th, My Birthday and 3 days before my show was to air. I knew that even if I slipped up and said something that revealed any show secrets the magazine wouldn’t be printed until after my show aired. How many regular people get interviewed by the Star Magazine on their 37th Birthday? The next day the local NBC station called because they wanted a story about a local guy appearing on the new NBC hit. I didn’t tell the local guy any info that would get me sued. The reporter said the story would air Monday at noon and again at 6pm.
Show day finally arrived and I had invited a few close friends to come watch with me at home. Tom was over early and was here for the noon news. They played my story and then came back to the anchors who said be sure to watch tonight and see how much money the tye dye guy wins. I freaked out and Tom called channel 3. He told them that what they said was not authorized and that I could be sued. The news director said he would fix it and Tom hung up. When the anchors returned from a commercial break, Sue said she had to clarify something about the tye dye guy. She said she made a mistake saying that I won, she said she wasn’t told I did and she shouldn’t have said what she did. I couldn’t believe that Tom got them to fix what they said and we changed the live news.
Friends and family members across the country we all ready for the show to air. Everyone thought I won because I kept saying what they told me to say, “You’ll just have to watch the show”. Jessie had the money spent, Tom and Kenny were wondering how much we would be sharing. I just kept trying to smile even though I was just hours away from being called The Weakest Link. It was about 6pm when the calls from the east coast friends and family started. The calls were all positive and everyone said I did good and made them proud. I was careful what I said because everyone was listening. I eventually went upstairs and talked in private to those who have already seen the show. When I came downstairs I sat at my desk, ordered some pizza for everyone to eat and checked my email. I had hundreds of emails! I clicked on a couple, read them and then desidedtotransfer the rest to my in box for later review. I didn’t tell anyone about the emails. Pizza arrived and with less than a hour until west coast show time my phone started up again when the central time zone friends saw the show. I answered a couple then decided I better forward my phone to voice mail. I then check my email again and I had like 400 more emails. I laughed, and sent them to my in box and said nothing again.
8pm arrived and the show began. It was a blast! As each round ended and I was still there the confidence level kept increasing in the room. Everyone knew I was the winner. Round five arrived and when Helen revealed her vote every face turned to me. They then showed me voting for Brad and then when Andrea showed the second Scot the room went ballistic. Nobody heard Brads vote over the yelling. The party suddenly realized I lost. There was anger and tears. Man, Helen and Andrea would have been killed if they were here. The volume was muted on the TV and my friends all hugged me and told me I did great. I cried a bit because I could finally talk about my experience. It has been killing me how everyone was talking about how they knew I won. I almost called the physiotherapist a few days before the show air date, but I didn’t, Finally I could talk about how frustrating of an experience I had. The party continued and I mentioned to my friends about the emails. They said check your mail again and I did. I have over 1,000 emails waiting for me to read. I transferred the new ones to my in box and started reading the first ones that came in.
About half were from people who said they thought I did great and just wanted to tell me so and say hi. The rest were tye dye orders. I even got a few marriage proposals. Who would look up someone on the web they saw on a gameshowandask them to marry them? Nobody I would want to be with at least. Jessie was furious at those few emails. I just laughed. The emails and orders kept coming in fastter than I could read them for the next day. I was up very late reading the emails and printing the orders so when my phone rang at 6am I was very asleep. It was a local radio show who wanted to interview me. I spoke to them with a frog in my throat for about 10 minutes and the interview ended with them telling me good job. Minutes later I was getting another call from another radio show, that one was from Texas. I was on the phone with them for about 15 minutes, they were fun, they even had audio tape of the show they played and commented and laughed with me about my Rosie answer. I went downstairs and checked my email again and found hundreds more new emails. Tom was back over early and was helping print the tye dye orders when my phone rang about 9am. It was a friend in New York who said she was just watching the Rosie O Donnel show and that she invited me to be a guest. I couldn’t believe my ears. The Rosie show aired in Las Vegas at 3pm, I could hardly wait to see it. Meanwhile emails kept filling my in box faster than we could read and print them. All day long I got calls from friends, family and radio stations. I scheduled a half dozen morning radio show appearances from stations all over the USA for the next couple days, I couldn’t believe so many people had found me. I never watched a TV show and then went to the web to contact a person.
With the VCR running 3pm finally arrived and the Rosie O Donnel show was on. Minutes into the show her musical leader asked her if she saw the Weakest Link last night. She said no because the medication she was on for her hurt wrist had made her very tired. He told he he was laughing so hard because there was a guy who said that she was the CEO of Playboy Magazine. Rosie’s face dropped and said, “ME, Playboy Magazine?” and he chuckled back yes. She said “needless to say he was wrong “and he chuckled back “Yes” She said “How embarrassing, do you think he was kidding?” and John answered back he didn’t think so. That’s when Rosie said, “We gotta have that guy on the show”. I picked up the phone and called the NBC station here who also ran the Rosie show. I told them who I was and what Rosie just said and they gave me the number for Rosie. I called, but it was after 6pm there, so I left a message. The next day a staff member of Rosie’s called and said she was sorry because Rosie shouldn’t have invited me as a guest on air. She said the show was already booked for the rest of the season and they didn’t have a slot for me. She said Rosie was very sorry and I thanked her for her call. No Rosie show for Scot, oh well, I didn’t plan on being invited on her show anyway when I said her name on the show. I just said Rosie because she was my “Go To Answer” instead of saying” I don’t know”. The emails kept coming in. Orders for tye dye and good wishes, what had I gotten myself into? The tye dye store didn’t really exist. It was just a web site. I was a real estate agent who did tye dye as a hobby. Before the show I had less than a dozen orders total since I opened my web store. How was I going to fill all these orders?
It had been a long day, I was staving so I decided to take Jessie and Tom out to a dinner buffet and get away from the computer for a while. It was my first trip out in public since the show aired. We weren’t 10 feet into the Orleans casino before people started pointing at me and coming over to me to shake my hand. Man I was swarmed by like a dozen people, some even wanted autographs. I laughed and obliged. We went into the buffet and it was crazy. I was patted on the back and asked for more autographs by more diners. I had no idea this was going to happen. Tom was tickled, but it freaked Jessie out a bit. We finally finished dinner and snuck out the side door and went home only to find more emails waiting. All total, over the next few days, I received over 5,000 emails, and over 1,000 were tye dye orders. What had I done? How was I going to fill the orders? I needed a plan.
I recruited all who would help, we turned my home into a tye dye factory. We made tye dye non stop for the next few days and still barely dented the stack of pending orders. It was about 9pm that next Saturday night when I got a call I couldn’t believe. It was a friend from New York who said she was just watching Saturday Night Live and they made fun of me in a Weakest Link sketch. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I knew I had to stay up and watch. With a new tape in the VCR Saturday Night Live began at 11:30pm. It was one of the first sketches. It wasn’t as funny as I thought it could have been, but they did have a tye dye guy who asked the host why she was so mean to which the actress pretending to be Anne yelled, “Silent Monkey” I felt honored to be mocked on Saturday Night Live. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would ever happen. My nephews would yell “SILENT MONKEY” to me a dozen time over the next week.
Brad won the game and $42,500.00. Everyone else left with nothing. When all the tye dye orders were totaled up they were over $30,000. I didn’t end up with nothing after all. After the cost of the items and dyes and paying everyone for their help I still ended up making like $10,000 profit from the tye dye sales. My 15 minutes of fame started and I loved the attention. Everywhere I went I was eye spied. This continued for days, weeks and even months. My Weakest Link episode has been playing on The Gameshow Network about every 3 months for the last year. It’s still a kick to turn the channel and see me. I am writing this story in December 2003, almost 3 years after my Weakest Link experience. Just last week I was approached by two people in the same day who asked if I was the tye dye guy from Weakest Link. I can’t believe people remember me. I can’t wait until my next game show appearance.
I was a 19 year old Web Cam Girl, by The Tye Dye Guy
It was a day like many others. I was looking on the web for a job for Jessie when I came across something that made me make a call for myself. It was for an adult web site marketer. I was intrigued by the ad and made an appointment for 2 o clock and arrived about 5 minutes early. I was lead past about 20 computers with men and a few ladies typing away to a conference room where a old woman was seated.
I broke the ice and said hello and we chatted for a minute or two before we were joined by a couple other ladies. We all four chatted until Jackson arrived. Jackson was the voice on the phone when we called about the job. Jackson was probably 30, had a deep southern accent and looked like he bought his clothes at Pimp Daddy USA. He asked us all to fill out some info on a simple application then he broke it all to us. He was looking for people to pretend to be 19 year old web cam girls named Natalie. One woman got up and left, I just sat there and laughed. THAT’S WHAT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WERE DOING ON THOSE COMPUTERS flashed in my mind. I chuckled some more, cause not one looked like a 19 year old web cam girl.
Jackson passed out some printed conversations between guys on the web and the infamous Natalie. We all laughed and shared the stories around the table. He then told us about the job. He said we were all going to go on line, enter chat rooms and get guys to visit the web site. For every guy who joined the web site we were going to get paid $20.00. Joining the site was Free and so were the 1st 30 minutes, after the first 30 minutes, if they stayed a member they were charged $24.95 for a month membership. The quiet girl asked Jackson if as an ex-felon, could she get into trouble for doing this. He said he didn’t think so, and asked about the felony. She said she robbed a bank when she was 18. I would have never pictured this quiet girl pulling a bank job. She said her parole officer probably wouldn’t like her doing this and she left. With the bank robber gone, we three were taught how to be pretty girls. Since there was no charge to join and the 1st 30 minutes were really free, I didn’t have any moral problems with getting guys to join. Jackson gave us some more directions and a list or pre written responses and took us to the training room. We signed in and we were all being hit on by horny guy in seconds.
I thought this was hysterical. I’m a 38 year old 350 pound gay guy and I’m on-line pretending to be a pretty 19 year old girl. Straight guys are so stupid. All the trainees were busy talking dirty with guys from all over the world when the grandma said she had a join. Jackson checked the site and sure enough, grandma found a sucker. We all worked about an hour total when I told Jackson my weed had worn off and I wanted to go home and work from there. He laughed and said nobody ever asked to work from home like that and said sure.
I laughed all the way home. When I arrived home and got past the huge welcome home wagon called Princess I sat down and logged on. I created a new screen name, NaughtyNatalie, a complete profile and even downloaded some pictures from the web and put my name, Natalie on them. I then entered a chat room. Seconds later I had my first horny fishy on the line. I was a very good 19 year old web cam girl. In about 30 minutes I had my first sign up and I was hooked. I made another 80 bucks in the next hour and decided to take a break. I sat outside on the step and smoked a cigar and laughed some more. I just made $100 bucks in about an hour for getting dumb straight horny guys to join a site because they want to see my pussy. Straight guys are so dumb.
One of the first guys who hit on me my first day couldn’t join because he didn’t have a credit card. I was so good I talked him into going to his bank and getting a debit card for his checking account. Every time he came on line after that he said hi and I asked if the card arrived. One day He said “Hi honey good news”. He was so happy his debit card arrived he joined the site as fast his little fingers could type. He dreamed of his free 30 minutes of Natalie’s naked web cam. He knew I would do anything he asked. He joined and I gave him directions to the free live web cam girls.
Now by the time this jokers debit card arrived I had mastered “The Dump”. After these guys would complete the membership application I would tell the dumb asses where to go to see the girls. There were always 6 girls live and on line there ( I just wasn’t one of them). I would tell them to click on any girl’s name because I didn’t want them to waist any of their Free 30 minutes while I checked with the web master to see what name I was being called this hour. Most would click on a girl, start jerkin off and I would never hear from them again. Others wanted their Natalie and waited patiently for me to tell them my web name. I would keep em waiting for a few minutes and then tell them I’m still on hold with the web master. A few minutes later I would tell them I was getting mad because I was still on hold. I would tell them I was going to go to his office and get the info and encouraged them to click on any gal while I am gone. Some would finally give up and click a girl and do what straight guys do, others would continue to wait for their Natalie. For those who still waited I came back with a hurt ankle. I would tell them I tripped over a chair and sprang my ankle. I would continue with the boss is coming with a wheelchair to take me to the emergency room. It would shock most that such a horrible thing could happen to their Natalie just after they joined the site and most would wish me the best. Some would still want their free show. I would tell these losers that still wouldn’t go away that the wheelchair arrived and I had to run. That was my Dump. Natalie takes a fall and hurts her ankle! Ingenious! If they canceled their membership after the 30 free minutes they were not charged a penny. For those who jacked off, came, fell asleep and forgot to cancel, well they would have a charge on their credit card and memories of their sweet Natalie.
One thing about the web being world wide is I got hit on by guys from all over the world. It amazed me how many had web cams and wanted to show off their dicks. I always laughed when they turned on their cam thinking Natalie was touching herself looking at their cocks. If they only knew they were jacking off in front of me! I could write a whole book just about what I saw being Natalie.
One guy hit on me from England. He was home in his flat, had a web cam and wanted to see mine. He gave me the standard “I don’t have a credit card line” when I saw someone walk by in the background of his web cam. I asked who it was and he said it was his dad. I asked him if his dad knew he was chatting to me and he said yes. (He said he was 20, I always asked) I told my English prospect I would give him and his dad a good show and told him to ask his dad for his credit card. He did and dad said YES! It took a bit of swooshing before dad believed me that the 1st 30 minutes was free. In the mean time a neighbor boy came by and was talking to the son while I chatted with the dad. I told them I would give them all a good show, but I wanted to see what they had first. I couldn’t believe they agreed. Dad went first and pulled down his pants in front of the cam. He was hung so small all I could see was hair. Then his son pulled out a fully erect dick. ( I guess Natalie made him hard) Sonny was lucky and wasn’t hung like his good old dad. Then came the neighbor boy. He was a week away from turning 18, but I figured since dad was there he had adult supervision and it was OK. The boy pulled down his boxers and pulled out a whopper. He wasn’t hard at all and was hanging at least 8 inches soft. Dad had severe penis envy after he saw what the boy was packing. The guys signed up and Natalie took a fall, damn that chair. I never thought I would do a father and son at the same time. If these guys knew who they were showing off to they would die, that made me laugh again.
It was during the Gulf War, the second one. I was on line being pretty when a GI in Saudi Arabia said hi to Natalie. He was about 35 years old and had been in the desert for about 5 months. He had a web cam in his room and was a good looking man. We chatted a bit before I started the Natalie sales pitch. He said he couldn’t join. He said his credit cards were left at home with the wife. He was so sad looking when he typed he couldn’t join and get his free show. He asked if I would cyber with him and for the first time, I said yes. He got naked and played with himself while I typed how wet my pussy was watching him. He was hung about average, but had a great naked body. I talked nasty to him until he blew a giant load across his chest. He toweled off and thanked me for the good time. I felt like I did something for my country and troops. He got dressed and we chatted some more before he typed something that made me fall off my chair. He said, “How do I know your not a 350 pound man?” When I was able to get back into my chair and whip away some of my tears of laughter I told him that was a turn off that he would even think such a thing. He apologized and said he had to go. We said good-bye. I served my country. There was one GI in Saudi that was going to have sweet dreams tonight, OF NATALIE.
I did the Natalie gig in my spare time for about a month. Three of those 4 weeks I was Top Girl! Jackson even asked me if I wanted to be the new trainer. I declined. I don’t think I was going to quit selling real estate to be a 19 year old web cam girl no matter how much fun it was. It finally became old and I lost interest so I quit. I got tired of being a pretty girl. How can women handle being hit on by all these dumb assholes? I deleted NaughtyNatalie.
I was never ashamed of being Natalie. I thought of it as a learning experience. I even told my young nephews. They all play on the computer and learned a lesson the easy way. I told the boys to never talk to strangers on the web, cause it may just be their uncle! Now that I have put my Natalie story in writing I can teach many more than just my nephews and friends a valuable lesson. Never give out your credit card info to a porn site and never think you are actually chatting with who you are told. You could be stroking off for a 350 pound gay guy!
My book never seems to get finished, so screw it, I will make it a blog and share it with the world anyway. Please read my wacky stories and remember, I’m a pothead, not a author.
